How to Communicate Effectively and Avoid a Fight in a Relationship

You can communicate effectively and avoid a fight in a relationship by paying attention during your conversation and sticking to one subject. If your conversations often result in a fight with a loved one, this article may help you avoid unhappy endings. There are a few common mistakes we all make when we are trying to get our point across.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. 
    

   When it comes time to approach someone with an issue, try not to say anything that causes them to put their guard up immediately. The conversation will not have positive results.

2. 
    

   The biggest thing you want to avoid is a back and forth war of words. If you must criticize, refer to the actions of the person and how they affect you versus the person themselves. When someone attacks you, and it hurts, point it out and let them know you are offended instead of coming back with an equally hurtful attack.

3. Ask yourself if you are pushing buttons. Don't do it. Often people remember the hurtful words forever and it can be damaging to the relationship and have long term negative impact.

4. 
    

   If you have noticed that when you try to get your loved one to see your side of an issue the conversation turns hostile you need to cut it short. Let this person know you don't want to argue and let the conversation close before it escalates. Try to end on a positive note. Come back to it later, when things settle down.

5. 
    

   It is best to say nothing at all then to have an argument. Sometimes writing a letter expressing your feelings is the best way to communicate and get your point across without interruptions.

6. 
    

   If you have attempted the conversation on numerous occasions and it goes nowhere, chances are you will get the same results next time. Many times you will feel better if you talk to a friend about your issues. Be prepared to listen to how much worse their situation is than yours. It helps to know other people do have worse problems. Talking about the situation may enlighten you to new ideas to solve the problems.

7. If you have negative feelings that you must let out, it can be better to vent while on a telephone call, that way there is no chance of things turning violent. Just realize, often this can leave you feeling worse than before and make you both have a bad day.

8. 
    

   There are some people that are stubborn and discussing problems always ends in disaster. In conversation, if you make it a point to acknowledge when they are right and you agree and you respect their opinions that will go a long way in helping them to accept your position. “I'm sorry” goes a long way in patching up differences.

9. 
    

   Put yourself in the other person's shoes and ask yourself if you would be offended by your words. Condescending tones of voice are obvious to the person you are speaking with, although you may not notice until it is pointed out.

10. 
     

    Having fun and non threatening conversations 90% of the time, can lesson the stress of dealing with issues that are controversial or touchy subjects. Try to stick to ONE subject and if the other person degrades you, stop the conversation right there. Point out how the words make you feel instead of retaliating with personal attacks.

11. 
     

    Remember the old saying, "You can catch more bees with honey than vinegar."

[kristara]

on 5/9/2009 Great relationship advice. 5*

[medphysinfo]

on 4/28/2009 Great advice and written nicely.