How to Be a Funny Jerk to Attract Women

Being a jerk can be a perilous decision. Many women do not find the behavior attractive, to say the least. But don't panic: If you are a jerk, you can use humor to temper your personality and attract women in the process. With a few carefully planned actions, you can attract the woman of your dreams in no time.

Instructions

1. Use sarcasm to demonstrate wit, intelligence and attitude. Wait until you can comment on a political or social event with equal parts humor and intelligence. To attract women, use sarcasm to stretch the facts of the event to a larger perspective that contains an overarching humorous twist. Remember: Sarcasm led by intelligence strengthens a dull conversation and intrigues women more often than sarcasm that is haphazard and unrelated to an event.

2. Temper your anger with humor when in the presence of women. Instead of confronting a slow waiter with pointed comments, for example, use humor to soften the confrontation and demonstrate to female counterparts that you have an easily controlled and managed temper. Women will observe your discipline and appreciate your humor more, and will be impressed by how delicately you used it to blunt your anger and frustration.

3. Command the room. With confidence and grace, speak loudly as you recount humorous stories and quips about the event at hand. Steer the conversation in the direction you want it to go. Humor will help you control the conversation and guide the attention of the group back to yourself.

4. Use humor instead of biting insults. Instead of being mean-spirited and cruel or commenting negatively, use humor to draw the woman's attention to an issue. This will draw her in as an equal participant in the matter and allow her the possibility to agree with your assessment. Either way, she will appreciate being a participant in a conversation rather than a victim of your insults.

5. Turn your humor on yourself. If you are naturally a jerk, invite women to participate in your insults by turning them on yourself. If you're having a drink at a bar and are tempted to attack the bartender's performance, for example, offer a humorous account of one of your days as a bartender. Comment on your own performance while drawing a humorous link back to that of current bartender. This will demonstrate that you hold yourself to the same standard that you hold others.

Tips & Warnings

• Push the envelope by injecting humor into awkward moments.

• Some women find sarcasm off-putting regardless of how funny it is.