How to Help A Parent Move Into a Nursing Home

Giving up one's independence and moving into a nursing home is one of life's most difficult transitions. But sometimes a nursing home is the only place where an aging parent can get the care he needs. This article offers practical suggestions to make the move to a nursing home easier on both you and your parent.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. PREPARE. The more time you have to prepare your parent for a move to a nursing home the better. Include your parent in the preparations, as much as possible. Seek her help in choosing which personal possessions to bring. Buy any special clothing or other items your parent will need. If possible, bring your parent to the facility ahead of time to take a tour, meet key personnel and see what her new quarters will look like. Anything you can do to make your parent's new home familiar ahead of time will make the transition easier.

2. KEEP IT SIMPLE. The nursing home room should come furnished with a bed, night stand, and wardrobe, so you won't need to bring these items with you. You might need to bring a TV if the facility doesn't make one available, so be sure to ask. The most important things you can provide are the little touches that will make your parent's new space feel as homey as possible. A cherished afghan, family photographs, a favorite chair, and other familiar items will go a long way toward making a standard nursing home room feel more personal and welcoming. But keep it simple. The fewer things you have to move, the easier it will be.

3. MEET KEY PERSONNEL. If you weren't able to meet key nursing home personnel ahead of time, make a point of meeting them as soon as possible after the move. Some of these people include the executive director of the facility, the director of nursing, the head nurse on each shift, the social worker, physical and occupational therapists, and perhaps most important of all, the CNAs (certified nursing assistants) assigned to care for your parent.

4. GET HELP. Try to get at least one other person to help you with the move to the nursing home. If family can't (or won't) help, ask a good friend. This will obviously make the physical job of moving easier, but having another person involved can also help with the logistical and emotional aspects of the move.

5. LABEL EVERYTHING. If you don't want to constantly be replacing clothing, slippers, canes, eyeglasses and other personal items, be sure to put your parent's name on everything. Use a permanent marker, which should not come off in the wash. If your parent wears dentures, make sure these are labeled, too, but have the dentist do it. He'll know how to label them without damaging the dentures or doing anything that will make them uncomfortable to wear.

6. FIND OUT WHAT SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE. Who will do mom's hair? How will laundry get done? Who provides supplies, such as adult briefs? It's best to ask these questions before the move, but if you weren't able to, be sure to ask them as soon as your parent gets settled in. The social worker is a good person to ask. So is the CNA, because this person will be spending a lot of one-on-one time with your parent.

7. ASK ABOUT ACTIVITIES. You'll probably find a calendar of monthly activities listed on the unit's bulletin board. Daily activities are often listed on an erasable board in the same area. If your parent has special interests, such as a love for pets, be sure to ask if the nursing home has a resident pet, or receives visiting pets on a regular basis.

8. STAY CLOSE. Unless the nursing home advises otherwise, try to spend as much time with your parent as possible in the beginning. This will help ease the transition to his new home. It will also help you form relationships with key personnel, observe daily nursing home life, and monitor your parent's needs. Being there for mealtimes is especially important. Your parent may not be able (or want) to feed himself. You can play an important role by helping to feed your parent and provide reassurance in an unfamiliar environment. But be sure to ask the staff to teach you proper feeding techniques. This is extremely important. Your parent could choke on his food if you use the wrong technique!

Tips & Warnings

• Even the best nursing homes cannot give any single patient the kind of personal attention that she could get in a private home from a dedicated caregiver. It's important to keep this in mind when assessing the quality of care.
• Be sure to report any serious breaches of care, such as neglect, mismanagement of medication, or patient mistreatment. (See link under "Resources" below.)
• Moving a parent into a nursing home can be an exhausting, disorienting experience, not just for your parent, but for you, as well. Be sure to make time to take care of yourself so you can be there for your parent.
• Nursing homes usually hold a patient care conference shortly after the patient moves in and on a regular basis thereafter. Ask to be part of these conferences, which will include the key staff members who will care for your parent.
• Don't rush. Elderly people do everything more slowly. Allow plenty of time to prepare for the move and for moving itself. If you are tense and rushed, your parent will pick up on that.
• Helping staff care for your parent is usually encouraged, but be careful not to overstep your bounds. If in doubt whether something is okay to do, ask.

Resources

• Where to Report Nursing Home Abuse
• Moving Into a Nursing Home - A Guide for Families

[joni04]

on 4/29/2009 Wonderful info, I work in a nursing home and you have it all well laid out here!

[local8b0y8]

on 4/26/2009 Excellent article!

[goodselfme]

on 4/24/2009 wonderful info when moving a parent into a nursing home.

[PhiMcRee]

on 4/22/2009 Most people don't think about meeting key personnel. I think that's very important to keep a good relationship with the people who will be caring for your loved one.

[Gottaloveit]

on 4/22/2009 This is a very good article, quite thoughtful. Thankfully, I'm able to have my Mom live at home with me but I'm sure this is a great resource for those who aren't as lucky.