How to Talk to Women: Subcommunication

The bulk of what you say is non-verbal, including tonality and body language. Become a master of interpreting and speaking through these subcommunications.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A perceptive eye to what signals lie beneath the surface.

1. Understand the importance of subcoms.
   
   Your limbic brain developed long before your higher-level cortex. It is the area that governs all your subconscious behaviors like fight or flight response. On a very primal level, we all communicate with one another via the limbic brain, in the form of body language, eye contact, facial gestures and vocal tonality.
   
   Our higher brain is able to filter what our limbic brain communicates, but unless one makes an effort to do so, the limbic brain speaks unfiltered. Your job is to learn how to read this subconscious language and how to use it to gain rapport and attraction with women.

2. Detect non-verbal forms of communication.
   
   1. Posture. When a girl is into you, she will lean forward and have an unguarded position. Ideally, she should "peck" (fully lean) into you, and you should never peck into her. Ever. A good sign is when the two of you are talking cheek to cheek, even in a quiet venue.
   When she is uncomfortable, she will lean or face away from you, cross her arms or legs, and perform self-pacifying maneuvers. These include touching the top of her sternum (base of the throat).
   The way a person's feet point is one of the most important clues to their intentions. If her feet aren't turned towards you, she has her mind on other things.
   
   2. Hands. When a girl likes you, she'll touch her hair. It may happen very briefly, but look for it because it'll almost always happen at least once. She may touch you or may slowly move her straw in her drink. Indicators she isn't comfortable include pulling out her cell phone or rapidly moving her straw in her drink.
   
   3. Eye contact. This is one of the most important subcoms. Evasive eye contact means she's either shy or not interested. A confident woman who is engaged in what you're saying will lock eyes with you. YOU MUST HAVE AWESOME EYE CONTACT. If your eye contact is evasive or if you blink too often, you will appear submissive and intimidated. If this is a flaw, work hard on perfecting your eye contact. You simply can't get attraction reliably unless you engage her eyes.
   A lot can be said through your eyes. You can have a cold, hard creeper stare. You can smile with them. You can be sexual. Control your eye contact so it, too, is seductive.
   
   4. Tonality. When two people are intimately conversing, their volume drops, the speed slows, and the pitch lowers to what is called bedroom voice. Two people yelling at each other is not conducive to seduction. You must lead the conversation not only in content but in the tonality. You may approach with high energy, but eventually, take charge and make it seductive.

3. Control your own subcoms effectively.
   
   Initially, you want the girl you're talking to to subcommunicate she is more interested in you than you are in her. If you are facing her and speaking with a lot of animation, gesturing wildly, while she is looking around the room and facing away from you, then you are doing the chasing.
   
   If a girl seems disinterested, you must not appear too eager. If she becomes interested, you then can reward her by showing subcoms of interest. As the interaction progresses, the subcoms may show mutual interest, but until then, frame it such that she is chasing.
   
   Regardless of the actual words being exchanged, your subcoms will give away the most amount of information about which of the two of you is of higher value. The one of lower value works harder to obtain the one of higher value.
   
   Mirroring is a technique that helps gain rapport, and is seen between two people who already have rapport. When you mirror a person's body language, they will feel more comfortable. So if she takes a drink, you do the same. If she crosses her legs, you then mirror her.
   
   As you spend more time in field, you will improve your calibration until you take on this "6th sense." You will be able to register all the subtle subcoms a girl sends out, and alter your own delivery accordingly.
   
   This dance of body language is always going on beneath the surface, but like an iceberg, it represents the majority of communication. Look for it in bars and clubs. Observe a couple talking and try to figure out who likes whom more, who is more dominant, who is more comfortable. Become a student of subcoms.

Tips & Warnings

• Subcoms are read in "sentences." Don't look at any single subcom out of context and try to interpret it. All subcoms taken as a whole can give you the full meaning of what someone is truly feeling.