How to Talk to a Shy Girl
If you have ever been to a social gathering like a party or dance, you have seen your share of wallflowers. Most of the girls in this situation do indeed seem to line the walls like daisies, but there is always that one shy girl you wish you could talk to. Fear no more, because today is the day that you will learn how to talk to that shy girl.
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Instructions
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Approach her with confidence, but don't be overbearing. First impressions mean a lot. Confidence can be presented and displayed in many different ways, such as how you walk, dress or speak. Draw the line, however, at being cocky, as this will turn your shy girl right off of anything you have to say.
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Grab her attention without putting her on the spot. Shy people do not like a lot of attention. One of the worst things you can do is grab the microphone at a social and start singing "You've Lost that Lovin' Feeling." Walk over to her when she is alone--or at least is not with a large group of friends--and begin a dialogue that doesn't seem like an interrogation.
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Inject some humor into the conversation and keep it going. Since the girl is shy, she may not have a whole lot to say. Don't push her too hard to get her to open up by asking too many questions; instead, lighten the mood with some humor. Everyone likes to laugh, and saying things like, "Do you know what my favorite type of flower is? Wallflower!" may lighten the mood.
Be careful in this instance that you do not offend as humor is subjective and personalized to each individual's taste.
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Relate to her on her level. If you are too involved in the event you are attending and she sees you are the life of the party, this may make her feel overpowered by your personality in a bad way. Relate to her when you are talking to her or in her presence by saying things like, "I can't stand these things"--or, if you are at a mandatory party, "Another dog and pony show, huh?!" This will make her feel that you are in the same place she is or would at least take the time to put yourself in her shoes.
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Make her your best friend. Treating this shy girl like your best friend when you talk to her will help her to let down the wall she may have built up to protect herself. Make her feel comfortable during a conversation by acting as if you have known her your whole life. Often in such situations, this will make a shy girl open up to you beyond your own expectations.
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Tips & Warnings
Prepare yourself before you approach her by having topics of conversation ready so you can keep it going; otherwise, the situation can turn awkward fast.
Above all, if the shy girl begins to speak to you, avoid cutting her off as it may make her clam up again. Many times shy people feel like they aren't being heard, so they don't take the time to express themselves unless they really have something of value to say, so don't interrupt!
Resources
- Photo Credit shy girl image by Alexander Zhiltsov from Fotolia.com
