How to Use Humor When Talking to Teens

My grandma used clever responses in all kinds of situations. "You're only as crazy as you think you are," she'd say. Sometimes she'd use nonsensical sayings to get our attention, "Why smile, when we can scowl?" she'd ask with a grin. In our small town she become known for her grandma-isms. When I began counseling teenagers I discovered that gramdma-isms could turn tense discussions into easy conversations. At the least, a clever saying could grab a teen's interest. Here is how to use humor and grandma-isms when talking with a teen.

Instructions

1. Use the power of laughter. Adolescence is full of difficult adjustments. They're absorbed with peers and don't seem to talk to parents as much. That's where grandma-isms come in handy. The more difficultly you have talking to a teen, the more you need a splash of some laughter. Laughter is the bridge that can move a conversation in a positive direction. Try this one: "It's OK if you don't talk to me, teens should be seen rather than heard."

2. Practice good timing. Here's the appropriate order for using humor to lighten the situation. Listen first, hug second, then deliver a one-liner. Try this one: "A broken heart is better than a broken ankle. At least I can still run away from home."

3. Lighten up. If you're a parent of a teenage, you'll need to practice using humor with yourself. Lightening up helps you keep teen angst in perspective. Grandma-isms help you to take life with a teen less seriously. Think about it: Would you want to be a teenager again? When my mom and I were in a tiff, my grandmother reminded my mom: "At least your not a teenager too."

4. Take it less seriously. Let's face it; teens can be feisty, illogically, demanding, unreasonable and slightly self-absorbed. No need to blame them, after all, we had mood swings at that age too. No need to take moody and know-it-all attitudes so seriously. Upsets go hand in hand with the tumultuous years. As parents, we make the situation more difficult when we take it all too seriously.

   Approaching the teen with a little humor can turn a potential meltdown into something better. When in doubt, try out a simple silly saying: "Watch out or your face will freeze that way."

5. Knock off those knee-jerk reactions. Teens are often impulsive. They react without thinking. They fly off the handle. Don't act like a teen yourself. Instead take a step back and deliver a nonsensical reply such as: "If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?"

6. Deliver one-liners. You don't want your poor darling to grow up without ever hearing those famous parental one-liners. Memorize a few so that you can be ready at the proper moment. "It's OK, you've got the rest of your life to be reasonable." "Always wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." You can even make up some "isms" of your own. Whenever you have the urge to lecture, stop, take a deep breathe and deliver a quick one-liner or tell a joke. "Do you think I was born yesterday?" is a good one to get the point across. See what happens.