How to Stop Loving a Loser

Sometimes you just KNOW the guy you're dating is a loser. You know the relationship is bad, your friends and family don't like him, but you still have feelings for him anyway. I'll tell you exactly how to get rid of those feelings you have for him and how to hold on for Mr. Right. Trust me on this one, I've lived it! I'm now happily married, and I can't even imagine that I used to have emotions for some of the men I once dated. (They weren't all losers, but some were.) Someday, you'll be just as removed and living happily ever after.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• The willingness to give yourself the life you deserve
• The desire to live a happy drama-free life
• The drive for self-respect
• Some good role models of strong women, even if they're fictional inspirations, a la Lara Croft

1. Love isn't something you should feel like you are a victim of, and love isn't a difficult or agonizing decision. Real love doesn't require that you stay away from friends or family and it doesn't hurt, abuse, or degrade you in any way! You can know these things for SURE!

2. Also, real love is easy in the beginning. The work comes later as you learn to live together as a couple and as you learn to help and support each other through life. But he should want you as much as you want him! If he doesn't, he is NOT for you.

3. So what do you do when you know these things, but you still have feelings for a guy who doesn't treat you very well? In other words, you know it in your mind but your emotions just don't match. I'll tell you, even if you don't want to know...

4. You take action first and THEN you wait for your heart and emotions to follow suit. That's right, you break up with him! I was once desperate to hang onto a boyfriend, we were constantly in long serious talks about where our relationship was headed and there was always all this drama. One morning I woke up and just realized, "this feels terrible, it has to end". Even when you genuinely love someone, if they make your life miserable, you MUST let them go.

5. Brace yourself, it might not be pretty. It might feel bad initially, because you are used to having them around. You may even be used to feeling bad or dramatic or brooding all the time, and even that can seem like a weird change or take time to snap out of, but it WILL be worth it. Sometimes the right decisions aren't easy!

6. When you get rid of him, even if it's painful and difficult, keep him away. Don't call him, don't get together to "talk" about things, let it be over. This will only help you move on.

7. Stay single for a little while. Go out with your friends, have fun, do whatever you want to do with your hair and appearance without even thinking about what he will think or men will think about it. Try living independently, even if it hurts. As you step out during this time of pain, the fog WILL begin to clear.

8. Over time, you will get over that loser. You really will! The pain will slowly become less and less, you will realize how much time you spent thinking of him and replace that time with things you like and enjoy. Healing will begin, and eventually you will look back and remember a time when you were in agony over him, but you won't even remember what it felt like!

9. One of the biggest reasons to kick him to the curb? If you don't, you may miss out on Mr. Right! The sooner you rip off the band-aid, the better! By getting rid of the junk in your life, you are making way for the good stuff. By getting rid of Mr. Wrong, you are now open to finding Mr. Right!

10. Please believe that your heart will follow suit if you are willing to do what's right for you, even if it's tough to get started. You have to be willing to give yourself what you deserve, and that's a chance at real love with someone who respects you.

Tips & Warnings

• If you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, ask yourself why? You might hear this a lot, but you really do have to respect yourself. If you don't, there will be people WAITING IN LINE to take advantage of you. So do whatever it takes to learn to respect yourself.

[doitrightnow]

on 11/3/2009 As a guy with lots of friends who are girls, I'm often the shoulder to cry on for situations that just should never have happened. "Look!" I tell them. "He's a loser. Dump him!" Inevitably they do, but usually they just want to hang on forever, and ever, and ever. Thank God I'm married happily and out of THAT rat race.

[chenderson00]

on 4/7/2009 5* advice!

[joshtb86]

on 4/7/2009 wont be telling my girlfriend this hahajk, 5*

[cherold598]

on 4/7/2009 My daughter is dating a loser. I can't complain too much because it took me twelve years to get rid of my first loser, then another two years to get rid of another loser. I'm done with losers for good. Great red flag warnings and tips for how to get rid of losers. 5* and recommend.

[PhiMcRee]

on 4/7/2009 This is really great and every young girl I know should ready it!