Things You'll Need:
- Computer and printer
- Friend who will give you feedback
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Step 1
Use the person’s name.
It’s easy to slip into simply saying “he” or “she.” Use the deceased’s name several times. People will want to hear it. -
Step 2
Use anecdotes, not adjectives.
You may want to say that the deceased was “kind,” “caring,” etc. That’s too easy and generic. Instead, tell an anecdote that illustrates the adjective. -
Step 3
Practice.
Practice the eulogy out loud several times in the days leading up to the funeral. If you feel foolish talking to yourself in a big, empty room, practice in your bathroom with the fan on. Call a friend who doesn’t know the deceased and practice the eulogy over the phone. -
Step 4
Print out the entire eulogy.
Unless you have a lot of experience giving speeches, don’t try to memorize the eulogy, and don’t reduce it to note cards. Print out the whole speech, in a type size that will be easy to read (perhaps 14 point), double-spacing between paragraphs. At the funeral or memorial service, simply read the eulogy. People will be listening to your words, many with heads bowed. They are not watching to see whether you use good hand gestures and make eye contact. -
Step 5
Don’t cry.
You are there to give voice to the many mourners who will not be speaking. It doesn’t do anyone any good if you break down. Practicing your speech out loud beforehand will reduce your risk of “losing it.” If you are going to look up during the speech, avoid looking at people who are crying. Pick out someone less emotionally involved, such as the spouse of a mourner, or someone in back. Use your words to tell that person how much the deceased meant to you.
