How to Begin Dating After Divorce: Top 5 Tips for Single Parents

Re-learn some basics of dating.

If you're ready to start dating after a divorce, you have special considerations when you have children. Dating may have changed a bit since you last were single. Learn some strategies that work.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

1. Go out to have a good time. Dating after divorce is going to be different. Don't go out with the intention of finding your next spouse. It's just two people out to have a good time in each other's company. Let the night take care of itself.

2. Get to know the other person before introducing him to your kids. If he's introduced to the kids and they get attached, then after two months, mom decides he's not the one, the children could be heartbroken once again. Don't put your kids through this.

   When you start dating after divorce, get to know that person, and allow him to get to know you. Make sure this might be a long-term relationship before you allow children to become emotionally attached.

   Although it's hard, waiting three months means you know where the relationship is headed. If it doesn't work out, the kids don't suffer.

3. Go to a public place on the first date: the movies, out to eat, bowling -- somewhere that's not going to lend itself to many awkward moments.

   You don't want to feel forced to be in a private setting. Keep the mood light and airy.

4. Avoid conversations about your ex. Don't have long conversations about your ex, what happened during the divorce, or the kids needing someone.

   Your date will feel awkward, as if you are looking for a father figure or someone who can replace the ex. Don't send this message if you want a second date.

   If he asks you about it, feel free to be open, but be direct and to the point.

5. Make a commitment to not jump the gun when you begin dating after divorce.

   Let things happen as they will. Don't be in love with the thought of being in love. Make sure you are dating someone because you are genuinely interested in him as a person, not the roles he could fill.

Tips & Warnings

• Dating after divorce is tough, but can be done for the right reasons and really quite fun!

References

• Dr. Phil: Dating After Divorce
• University of Alabama: Dating After Divorce