How to Win a Fight

How to win the fight and get your point across.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. There are many times an argument will ensue whether it be with your spouse, girlfriend, co-worker or children. Here are some tips for winning the argument and getting the person give in to you. It will also show you how to be conscience of how you argue may be the reason you never win.

2. First and foremost pick your battles. There are some things just not worth arguing about. Many people argue to argue. Ask yourself if it really matters and if it will matter the next day. If you are arguing "just to win" then you lose credibility. They won't believe you can be right for a change and close their minds off to any and all valid points you bring up just because you are considered argumentative.

3. Understand your reasons for arguing. What is it you are trying to achieve from the fight? Are you trying to gain respect? Are you trying to get someone to do something or give something to you that you need? Think about the reason for the argument first.

4. Know your enemy when arguing. Is this person arguing with you just because they don't like you or you don't like them? If so it is a personality issue and not an argument.

5. Prepare for the argument. Know facts and don't state opinions. A direct assault on someone's beliefs will get you no where. It will only create animosity and cause the person to be defensive.

6. Understand why this person is resistant. Many people resist the unknown. Many people resist based on fear. If you know this beforehand, focus on the reasons they don't have to be fearful. Concentrate on their fears and ask if they resist for a specific reason. For example. You want to take your spouse to a foreign country and they don't want to go. Find out the reason. Is it because they are scared of flying? Is it because they are scared of being somewhere unfamiliar? Ask them and show empathy toward their fears.

7. Look into alternatives of getting the result implementing other avenues but that achieve the same result. Show that you are not being rigid. Can you drive there? Can you take a train? Meet people halfway. It shows the argument is not about winning and it gives you the results you tried to achieve.

8. Another good tactic is to pick something you refused to do or give into. Show that you are willing to try it. For example if you have refused to eat at a Seafood restaurant because you hate seafood and the person has wanted to. Give it a try. Demonstrate your own flexibility and people are more willing to give in to you.

9. The most important way to win a fight or argument is by demonstrating you can be flexible and not rigid. If you show that you want the same result but will be flexible on how it gets done you gain respect. Then you both win and a person doesn't walk away exhausted and doesn't feel like the fight was just a big waste of time.

[Mitestarossa]

on 4/2/2009 Excellent tips for a fight.