How To

How to Deal With Stranger Anxiety in Babies

Contributor
By eHow Contributing Writer
(20 Ratings)

Stranger anxiety, which starts as early as three months, is a normal, self-protective process. The anxiety should lessen after the first birthday as your child learns to handle new faces.

From Quick Guide: Children's Day Care
Difficulty: Moderate
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • Baby Blankets
  • Pacifiers
  • Teddy Bears
  1. Step 1

    Greet a friend or relative who's new to your baby with a handshake, a kiss or whatever seems appropriate. This will give your baby a hint that Mom or Dad accepts this stranger.

  2. Step 2

    Stay in view of your baby when you're at the market, the doctor's office or any place where strangers are present. Hold or comfort your baby if she's anxious.

  3. Step 3

    Don't force a child to be held or kissed by anyone who seems to cause anxiety, even if that person is a friend or relative. Babies go through phases when even Grandma or a neighbor can provoke anxiety.

  4. Step 4

    Ask grandparents, friends or anyone to whom your baby has become sensitive to approach her slowly so that she has time to warm up to them.

Tips & Warnings
  • Talk to your baby. You can say, 'This is Aunt Carol. We went to her house last week. Remember?'
  • Avoid telling your baby there's nothing to be scared of. The fear that babies and children experience is real to them.

Comments  

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mlatshaw said

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on 8/20/2009 Does anyone have any advice for us? Our daughter has had stranger anxiety since she was 4 months (now she is 6 months). Monday we are switching her to a new daycare and I am so worried she will freak out. The first time she freaked out we let my father-in-law take a walk with her (we thought it would calm her down since we didn't know why she was crying. . . we thought it might be the commotion of the party) and she was so traumatized and she screamed so much that she ended up with a herniated belly button. Right now, we plan to stay with her for awhile, holding her at a distance from the new teachers and slowly getting closer and closer while she has a chance to get used to them. Finally transferring her to them to hold. This seems to work with visiting friends and family but we are always there in the same room and they aren't there for more than a few hours. Now I'm thinking it ...

Eahann1 said

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on 1/4/2009 My daugher is 5 months old and she is a happy baby who smiles all the time, but she has this anxiety that is listed above. Whenever she is around a lot of people, family members, in a confined home she does this loud ear piercing cry. If I go to the mall she is fine, I guess because she is strapped in her car seat and no one is in her face saying hello to her. I was at a family party last night and she cried so much and so loud that my husband and I decided to leave. I felt bad leaving since we were only there for a little while, but at the same time I feel horrible that everyone is trying to catch up with other family members that they haven't seen in a while and she is crying so loud. I know that they understand, but I still feel bad and leave. This is the 2nd time this has happened.
I'm definately going to take the advice and have my daugher sit in her car seat for a little while

mommajessi said

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on 9/20/2008 I will take any advice right now. My daughter is 8 months old, she doesn't like anyone except for me, my husband, and our other 2 children. Mainly she always wants me, and I can NEVER leave her view with out her screaming and getting anxious. I need some time with just me and my husband what do I do about this? Is this because she was in the NICU for a month after she was born, or is this normal? My other 2 children never experienced this.

sylah said

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on 9/17/2008 I get along with children very well and the suggestion to avoid initial eye contact and making a big fuss over the child is very important when you're approaching a child. Small children don't want you to approach them, they want to approach you when they're ready. My daughter gets very upset with some people because they approach her first and I've had some relatives where they just grab her out of my arms and want to hold them (they don't mean to be disruptive -- I know they're just excited to see her) but it has the opposite effect that they're looking for and she gets VERY upset.

JudyFord said

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on 11/6/2007 Hello, My name is Judy Ford and I am the new parenting writer on eHow. and I wanted to respond to your concern about your granddaughter's fear of a male relative. What you describe is natural, known as stranger anxiety. Of course each baby is born with his or her own social style — some are drawn to more exuberant people; others respond better to gentle voices and quiet gestures. Studies show that babies respond best to high-pitched, exaggerated sounds and voices-such as the female voice. Your grandbaby is reacting normally to this man, who is a stranger to her.
Most youngsters react to strangers with neutral reactions, such as a serious, stern, watchful glaring stare. Some babies even look at the new person briefly, then look away a few times before warming up. Stranger and separation anxiety is a normal aspect of baby’s developmental stage and is healthy. The ability to crawl and wal

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