How to Ask Someone to Be in Your Wedding
You finally made the all-important list...bridesmaids, groomsman, Maid or Matron of Honor... now how to ask? Sometimes it can be tricky, especially if one Flower Girl is a relative of the groom, or if some of your party lives far away and you can't ask them in person. Here are some ideas.
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Instructions
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If the female attendants live nearby, it's nice to ask them in person. The bride can ask each girl individually (a group setting can put pressure on people who may have to decline.) Go out for coffee or lunch and just ask. If they must decline, then try not to be to dissapointed.sometimes people have previous engagements they simply cannot break, or they may feel that the costs are too high to be able to participate.
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In the case of a flower girl, ring bearer or page, be sure to ask the parents first. If they have to say no, then the child will not be dissapointed. When you have the parent's permission, you might want to ask the child by giving them a little token or gift. A fun idea for this might be a little book that describes their "duties" and how fun it is to be a part of a wedding. They have several books on this subject available at bridal shops and on Amazon.com.
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Groomsman and the Best man...generally, it's not as "big of a deal" for guys how they are asked. Just let your fiance' decide that one. Usually a phone call works just fine.
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If you want to ask your father, mother, brother or uncle (or whomever you are going to ask to walk you down the isle) in a special way, you might consider a nice card or a letter, describing what they mean to you in your life and why you have chosen them for this spwcial honor. you can find beautiful cards designed for this purpose at www.greetingcarduniverse.com/Fairygirlcards
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If you have out-of town relatives or friends that you need to ask, a pretty card is a trendy and thoughtful way to ask. We have cards for every attendant at www.greetingcarduniverse.com/fairygirlcards.
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Tips & Warnings
Another nice way to ask female attendants is to send them each a small boquet of flowers with a card with their requests.
Be polite, but upfront when explaining costs that each attendent might be responsible for. Traditionally, they pay for their own clothing and shoes, but if someone is really struggling financially and you still desperately want them in your wedding, you might offer to go halves on the costs. Compared to the rest of the wedding, it's a small price to pay.
