How to Be Romantic When Raising Children

In the midst of raising kids, romance often gets pushed to the back burner. Parents are too busy for romance. No time and too tired, they say. Between doing laundry, taxiing kids around, fixing dinner, and overseeing homework--it seems that excuses take over. If you've been complaining about the lack of romance around the house, if you've fallen into the trap of no time and too tired, take heart. Enjoying romance while actively raising kids is possible. Here's how.

Instructions

1. Drop the "no romance for parents" myth. Have you been operating under the myth that raising children and romance don't mix? That idea is counterproductive to a happy marriage and home. Be bold. Pledge to keep romance alive and lively. Children benefit when parents behave affectionately toward each other. Parents who hug and cuddle in front of their children send a healthy message about love. Growing up with adoring parents gives kids a positive outlook for their own relationships someday. Although the ways you express romance around the house might be different from courtship days, you can remain starry-eyed. Don't be lazy. Stop with the excuses. Just because you're a mommy or a daddy, it doesn't mean you can't bring out your passionate side.

2. Reinvent the fun in flirting. Just because you're married and have kids, that doesn't mean you have to stop flirting with each other. Remember how fun it was to hold hands, cuddle and gush over each other. It's possible to care for kids while being flirty and tender toward each other. Whisper sweet nothings while cooking dinner. Steal a kiss while supervising homework. Hug often, smooch on the couch. Hold hands with the kids and each other. Wink over dinner. The kids may cover their eyes and scream, but that's either because they want to be included or they've never seen you behave this way. Don't worry, they'll get use to it.

3. Extend many romantic gestures. You can't wait until the kids are with a sitter to have a romantic encounter with your honey. Long dry spells aren't conducive to intimate connections. Lasting romance is built one small gesture after another. The tone of your voice when you speak. A lingering kiss hello, the gentle warmth of your hand as you touch your sweetheart's neck. Simply gestures spread throughout the day ignite the sparks of romance. A tiny gesture sets the stage for the next gesture. Gestures add up--and before you know it--romance is in the air--not once a year, but all year long.

4. Value romance. Infuse the day with romance. The key to an everlasting romantic marriage is to value romance. When you infuse romance into all of your encounters your relationship takes on a sparkle. Serve breakfast with a pat on the cheek. Greet your honey with a wink and a passionate kiss. Talk sweetly, touch gently, be kind. With a touch of romance in the air, the kids are content because the two of you are happier.

5. Notice sweet, small details. The secret to romance is to notice and comment on the sweet, little details that you treasure about your partner. The way his hair stands on end when he removes his baseball cap, the way her hair falls in messy curls down the back of her neck. If you're out of practice in the romance department, it may seem awkward to begin commenting on the qualities that interest you. Comment on those sweet characteristics that you adore. Do it often. You'll both feel more appreciated, and that will have lasting benefits for the entire family. Romance does not interfere with parenting, it adds to the positive energy in the house.

6. Make the mundane sparkle. Romance is not just for candlelight occasions, for anniversaries or special dinners at fancy restaurants. Romance should not be relegated to date night. Romance turns mundane routines into special events. Romance is good for you; it adds a spring in your step and puts a twinkle in your eye. You inspire romance through the tone of your voice, through the quiet way you sit closely, by the energy vibe in the room. If you wait until the kids are in bed you'll be too tired to light the fire. It's much more productive to keep the embers burning all through the day. Even the dullest routine is wonderful when you notice and appreciate each other. That's the essence of romance between parents.