How to Survive Living With Teenagers

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By HouseWifeMafia
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If your beautiful child has turned into a teen, hold on tight, and I hope this article helps.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Patience (lots of it!)
a little knowledge
a hobby

Step 1

First know everybody survives.
Even though this might seem like an awfully long haul, the years really do pass quickly, and just like you always hear - you blink and then they are gone.
Step 2

Keep in mind that these are the last years of their lives that you really have to form them, and these years sometimes set the tone for your relationship with them for the rest of their lives, so try to live through these years with tact and grace.
Step 3

Remember that their brains are not fully formed. If you do a little research about teen brains, and not to be sexist, but especially boys, you will learn that their irrational behavior and sometimes questionable judgment does have a biological basis.
Step 4

Don't get into screaming matches with them. Just state the rule and disengage. Reasoning with a teenager is a contradiction in terms. Their brains are just on a different level right now.
Step 5

Do listen respectfully. Listen, listen, listen so they will learn how to be respectful and listen to you too. Sometimes it is a little shocking and sometimes it can seem like an endless drone, but be polite to them, and they will learn how to be polite to you and others in return.
Step 6

Forgive yourself for the occasional tourettes episode. It happens. You are far from the only one this has happened to.
Step 7

Do find catch phrases that will stick in their minds and help guide their behavior. You will find the ones that work well for you. Find a few and stick with them. Yes, you are sort of programming them, but isn't instilling a conscience and proper conduct part of being a good parent.
Step 8

Know that their brains do come back. Funny enough this occurs right around the time that their brain finishes developing and fusing together. Use this as your reason to forgive them for whatever they have done over the last few years.
Step 9

Have a hobby around that house, so that you always look busy and have an excuse to disengage from their attempts at arguing about something ridiculous and pointless. Of course they will think that you are selfish and awful for not devoting your full attention to them when they want you, but you know this is saving them from getting smacked repeatedly and maybe even sworn at.
Step 10

Let your no be no, and your yes be yes. Be upright and honorable in all you do because they are watching and running a fine tooth comb over you in their minds for any and all hypocrisy on your part.
Step 11

If you have boys, invest in candles to make your house smell better. Even if they bathe daily, you want candles.
Step 12

Another thing about boys, is try to think of them as mentally challenged. They will do something completely stupid and have no idea why they did it. Sometimes they are just as confused by their behavior as you are, so try to ask them what different choices they could make. This helps develop a conscience and maybe forethought, not now, but hopefully later.
Step 13

For boys again, say it in one short sentence. If you have gone over 5 to 7 words you lost them. Keep it short and to the point. This can become sort of an art form, saying.... No - Bad- Why - Clean.....
More words than that and you are just asking for trouble. Keep it simple like that. maybe that sounds ridiculous and degrading, but try it, you'll see and thank me later.
Step 14

For boys again, if you are able to create a separate space for them, that is best for everyone involved. Just plan on going in there with a shovel and a mask in about 4 years. In the mean time it will spare the rest of your house and furniture.
Step 15

Maybe freaks of nature do exist where their kids are always pleasant, neat and perfect and mom never swears or makes solemn vows of bringing them great bodily harm. I do not have that family, and if any tells you they do, they are usually lying, or they are just insufferably smug, and who needs to hang around that? So know that you are not alone, and what ever demented and outrageous thing thathas gone on in your family has probably happened in someone else's family too.
Step 16

The only absolute truth in parenting is you will be humbled.

Comments

smgwritings said

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on 3/31/2009 Funny, but True! Thanks for sharing this great article.

on 3/28/2009 This article was good. I like the comic relief! Step 6 makes me feel better! I'm not alone. Step seven is a good one. I use the phrase, "own it" As my daughter will always try to make it someone elses fault!

celicanod said

on 3/25/2009 You make a lot of good points in your article about teens. Might want to check out mine on teens as well.http://www.ehow.com/how_4770917_talk-to-teenagers.html