-
Step 1
Don't believe the pickup artist hype. Teaching guys how to date gorgeous women has become an industry. Self-proclaimed "pickup artists" like Erik "Mystery" von Markovik and Neil "Style" Strauss write books, give seminars and von Markovik even had his own TV show, "The Pick Up Artist" on VH1. Is their advice any good? If it ever was, it's less so now because their techniques depend largely on the "target's" ignorance of the "artist's" technique--which consists largely of playing it cool and salting your conversation with mildly negative remarks directed at the woman.
-
Step 2
Understand female motivation: money, status and looks. Of these three, looks is a distant third. Evolutionary psychologists explain the differing motivators men and women exhibit when seeking each other out this way: Physical attractiveness is a rough indication of a woman's health, important when a man picks a mate. A man with status and money is more likely to have the resources to provide for his children. That's important to a woman seeking a mate. Even if you're just looking for a fling or a date, these strong inborn tendencies still provide a lot of the motivation.
-
Step 3
Have a unique selling proposition. When advertising mastermind Rosser Reeves coined the term "unique selling proposition" he was talking about selling things like cars and cornflakes but it's remarkably apropos if you're looking to impress a woman. Even if you're not rich and high status, you can still attract a woman if you have achieved anything she respects. If your job isn't high status, find a hobby or community involvement that will touch a woman's mind or heart. You could be a shoe salesman, but if you take beautiful photographs she'll think Ansel Adams rather than Al Bundy when she thinks of you. Donating your time to a local food bank might get you more points than a fancy car.
-
Step 4
Cultivate a style all your own. Perhaps the best definition of style is, "being yourself on purpose." In other words, having your own style, far from being an affectation---something phony---is really about finding out who you really are and letting the world know. Women do like the strong, silent type. They also like gregarious, friendly guys. What they generally don't like is the insecure type of guy who vacillates between one and the other. When you find your own style you'll stop trying to be all things to all women. And you'll increase your odds of dating your dream girl markedly.
-
Step 5
Be prepared to lose gracefully and move on. Because you can't be all things to all woman, many women won't even give you a chance. Others will go on one date and then lose interest. Don't wallow in self-pity that can't attract the girl of your dreams. Dream another dream.












