How to Hold a Memorial Service

A memorial service enables friends and family members to honor and celebrate the life of a loved one who has died. Memorial services can be simple, intimate events involving immediate family only, or they can be much larger affairs, depending on the wishes of the deceased and the family. A memorial service is different from a funeral, because the body or remains of the deceased are not present, and the service can take place several weeks or months after the person has died. If you will be holding a memorial service, you can do several things to make the planning process easier.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Flowers
• Music CD
• Invitations
• Photographs
• Foam core
• Easel
• Video or DVD equipment
• Food
• Drinks

1. Find a location for the service and choose a date. Decide if you will be holding the service in someone's home, or if you will need to rent a venue for the service. Think about a budget, if you will be renting a location for the memorial service. Ask if chairs will be included in the rental price. Churches, temples, church halls and catering halls are often used for memorial services.

2. Invite family members and friends. If you will be holding the service shortly after the deceased has died, include details about the memorial service in a newspaper obituary. If you will be holding the service at a later date, guests can be called, written or e-mailed with memorial service information.

3. Decide who will offer a eulogy, if a formal eulogy will be part of the service. If you don't want a eulogy, you might ask attendees to share memories, if they wish. Make arrangements for a clergyperson to lead the service, if desired.

4. Select music and soloists for the memorial service. Music doesn't have to be somber. Choose songs that were particularly meaningful to the deceased or songs that reflect his personality. Call florists and arrange for flowers for the service, if desired.

5. Prepare a schedule for the service. Decide when the eulogy or remembrances should be offered and when songs or musical selections should be played. If a clergyperson will not be leading the service, decide who should be in charge of the service.

6. Make a display with photographs of the deceased. Attach the photographs to a piece of foam core, which is available at any arts and crafts store, and display them on an easel. If you have video of the deceased that you would like to share, play it before or during the service.

7. Decide if you will serve food and beverages after the service. If you will be holding a small memorial service, you may decide to handle this yourself. But if you will be holding a large service, you may want to consider hiring a catering company. Find out if the location where you will be holding the service offers catering services and if outside caterers are permitted.

Tips & Warnings

• Arrive at the memorial service location early on the day of the service and make sure everything is in place. Be sure that you have ample seating and that the audio system is functioning correctly. Check that restrooms are adequately supplied and that there is a place for guests to put coats and other belongings.
• Don't forget to discuss your plans for the memorial service with everyone close to the deceased, in order to avoid hurt feelings.

Resources

• Memorial service planning
• Peoples Memorial Association
• Valley of Life tips on memorial service planning