How to Determine if You Are in an Emotional Affair

At which point does a relationship between two people move past friendship and into the realm of an emotional affair? In this day and age, it is not uncommon for family members to be spread across the country, if not the world. In the process of life we spend more time with co-workers and other acquaintances than our significant others. This article explores the characteristics of an emotional affair. If you have a concern you may crossed over the gray line and entered an emotional affair, then this article is for you.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Take a second or two. Imagine if you will that you have had a stressful day, have heard a hilarious joke or have a quirky event from your day. Who do you tell first. Who is the first person in your mind to share it with? Who do you know will understand it and you? Yeah, sometimes it will be your best friend but seriously consider who you share your deepest and most inner thoughts with. Consider your conversations with your significant other. Do you relate your daily events or is the conversation basic?

2. Do you have cell phone? Check your recent calls. Who do you call the most frequently and for how long? Conversation frequency and length are quite telling actually more so than content. The way the conversation affects your emotional state is the key. Anticipation and excitement for the contact is an indicator of the relationship fulfilling an emotional void. I'm not talking about your best friend is going to a tattoo parlor and you can't wait to hear if they went through with it. This is the flush of excitement you get when you see who is calling. Checking your messages to see if they have called. These are tendencies of individuals in the honeymoon stages of dating. Hello, these are red flags for an emotional affair.

3. Do you hide details of your interaction from your significant other? O.k. for clarification, this does not mean not disclosing you had a double dip ice cream cone while out shopping. If you feel guilt regard to the interactions, frequency or what have you, you need to consider the possibility you have crossed a boundary in the relationship between friendship and an emotional affair.

Tips & Warnings

• Every relationship is different. Determination of an emotional affair is a process of self examination by each individual of motives and emotions.
• An emotional affair is fulfillment of needs by another person other than a significant other. This does not include nor lead to a sexual relationship however can be more devastating to a relationship than an affair based on sexual desire due to the involvement of emotion.
• Relationships are what you put into them. They are hard work and don't come easily.
• Not every friendship between a male and female enters this realm. Some of this writers best friends have been males. The individuals participating in the relationship are the only people able to determine the degree and seriousness of a relationship. Although it is possible for one person to cross the line without it being reciprocal.
• This information is not provided by a professional. Please take from it what you will.

[deestew]

on 3/29/2009 Outstanding!

[tachic]

on 3/19/2009 This is very thoughtful- emotional affairs are often overlooked.

[sexychef]

on 3/19/2009 A very thoughtful article. People need to think of this more.