How to Incorporate Step Children Into a Wedding Ceremony

Trying to figure out how to incorporate stepchildren into a wedding ceremony isn't as difficult as it first seems. There are many roles to choose from. It's true that you may have to make some sacrifices on how you pictured your big day, but it's worth the effort when laying a foundation for a good relationship as a stepparent. Parenting your own children can be challenging enough, let alone helping to raise others within blended families.

Things You'll Need

• All optional: Invitations Crafts Scrapbook page

Instructions

Roles for Stepkids Before Getting Married

1. Plan the ceremony and/or reception together. Asking for the children's input on different matters pertaining to the big day can be a great way for to incorporate them into your wedding ceremony. Letting them make even a small decision, such as what accent flowers would look good on the bouquets, can make them feel included and important within a blended family.

2. Give them a few responsibilities once the plans are set. Even smaller "helper" jobs, such as sitting together at the kitchen table and addressing the envelopes or helping count the RSVP cards, will not only give them a role in helping with the big day, but it will also give you the opportunity for some quality time together. It could be an favorable start to a few great bonding conversations.

3. Have them make something special for the day. Letting them choose a craft, whether it be a banner or centerpiece for the head table, to add to the decor will give them a sense of belonging. It will also give them a feeling of pride to see their decoration on display front and center.

4. Talk to them about what they would like to do for the celebration. Sometimes, the easiest way to figure out how to incorporate stepchildren into a wedding ceremony is to ask them if there is any particular role that they want to perform for it. But if you ask, you need to make an ironclad promise to follow through so they don't end up feeling rejected or unimportant to you and your spouse.

Roles for Stepkids During the Marriage Ceremony

1. Make your soon-to-be stepchildren a part of the bridal party. This might seem like a no-brainer, but parents often overlook this option when planning their wedding day. If you include one child in the actual ceremonies, though, you need to include all of them (unless they have asked specifically for another part), so there are no feelings of favoritism---one of the hardest obstacles to overcome within blended families.

2. See if the children like the idea of being ushers or bridal attendants. Both duties are as important to a smooth day as being one of the people who walk down the aisle.

3. Have the children perform something during the ceremony or at the reception. This could be singing you a song, showing a dance move or reading a poem or Bible passage. Anything where all eyes are on them for a moment will please most children when you are trying to figure out how to incorporate them into a wedding ceremony.

Roles for Stepkids After You're Married

1. Let your new stepchildren help design the thank-you notes. This is a small way that they can begin to partake in being a part of a blended family. Include a picture of all of you together on the big day if you're sending out a photo card.

2. Put them in charge of some of the keepsakes and mementos. Giving children their own individual scrapbook pages to create as they see fit is a great way to start the new family album.

3. Let them plan a day to celebrate with both of you after the honeymoon is over. Knowing that they have quality time with both parents will give them an extra sense of security in the midst of all the changes. The best parenting choice in blended families can be to simply reassure them that they will continue to be an important part of the equation after the wedding is over.