How to Be Bridezilla

The ring is on your finger. The wedding planning is on. Enter Bridezilla!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Throw tantrums. Lots of them. After all it is your wedding. It has to be perfect. To be the ultimate bridezilla make sure you throw several tantrums over the phone while in a very public place. Tantrum loudly! Let everyone know you are a disgruntled bride-to-be.

2. Expect everyone to drop everything for you at the a moment's notice. It doesn't matter if your maid-of-honor has a job interview scheduled. You need her to be at the department store NOW so you can ask her if the dress you chose for the rehearsal dinner makes your butt look big. There will be other jobs.

3. Call your bridal party and your mother several times a day. Bridezilla doesn't ask them about how they are doing or what is going on in their lives so be sure to keep the conversation centered around you, the wedding, and your husband-to-be. Whatever you do, DO NOT ask your bridesmaid about her sick child.

4. Ask your mother's opinion on everything and do the opposite. Also be sure to put down the dress she picked out to wear to your wedding. Bridezilla will surly find it too frumpy/glittery/young/casual/old-fashioned/clashing with the wedding colors for mom to wear. Hand her the bill for the $759.00 dress you bought for her in her size that will compliment the cornflower blue candlesticks perfectly.

5. Tell your bridal party how to throw your bridal shower. Request the perfect time, date, location, and guest list. Make sure you let them know what gifts you want.

6. Neglect your husband-to-be except to assign him errands and nag him about them when they don't get done, like, yesterday. You will have time for him after the nuptials are through. Right now you have flowers to pick out! If he wants to spend time with you he should help you pick out the flowers.

7. Try on thirty dresses with the help of five sales associates and then leave the bridal shop without a dress or an order in and remember not to say "thank you". Bridezilla must make others work hard for her respect and approval!

8. Make ridiculous requests. Have your bridal party wear strapless, short, dresses when it is below freezing out and stand in the snow for the photos with their strappy sandals because it looks good. The photographer can Photoshop out the blue lips and goose bumps as well as fix the blur from the shivering.

9. Hate everything. As Bridezilla you don't like the cake, the dresses, the venue, the menu, the best man, etc.. If you are not complaining you are not doing it right. For you to admit that you actually like something might give people the wrong idea about Bridezillas.

Tips & Warnings

• As long as you remember you are the only one that matters and your wedding is the only wedding that counts you will be the perfect Bridezilla.
• Bridezilla may find herself all alone and abandoned after her honeymoon when she realizes she's ran off all of her friends with her selfish, demanding attitude. You may want to reconsider being bridezilla so you won't have to address all of those thank you notes by yourself!

[AprilThomas]

on 3/15/2009 Very entertaining article, but I'd be willing to be most of us know someone who is or would be a bridezilla.

[srhgompf]

on 3/6/2009 This is hilarious! Loved it! 5*