How to Take Over The World (Corporate Domination)

Wally-world has shown us all the power of a corporation, now you too can harness that power. With hard work and determination all the Earth will tremble before your might.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• a ruthless attitude
• a product
• a catchy jingle
• hordes of mindless drones

1. Design a product. To take over the world using corporate domination you must have something to sell. Your product should be something completely useless that people feel they "just must have" There is nothing more evil than bending others to your every whim, no matter how senseless. Think The Slinky

2. Come up with a name. Your company will one day inspire fear, dread and longing in the hearts of millions. I don't recommend Goody Two Shoes as a company name no matter how good your shoe prices are.

3. Choose a uniform. Uniforms inspire fear while simultaneously creating unity. The classic "power suit" is always a nice option.

4. Recruit. You will need legions of underlings to work for you. They must be unhelpful, constantly restocking when a customer requires something, and borderline rude. Zombies work well, so do teenagers.

5. Come up with a catchy jingle. This will be the song that is forever stuck in the minds of the masses. Make sure it's something effective like "buy, buy, buy"

6. Publicize. Make sure that your face and product are on every station, website and flat surface. Soon you will be internationally recognized.

7. Enslave humanity. No one will ever again tease you for your sallow complexion or crazed eyes, they will all be much to busy working in your factories across the land!!!!!

Tips & Warnings

• A dazzling smile will get you anywhere you evil spokesperson you.
• Zombie workers may eat potential customers.
• Conquering the world by any means may be deemed illegal in your area. Check with local authorities before beginning.

Resources

• Another Option for Taking Over the World

[Vanillatte]

on 3/10/2009 Funny article on how to take over the world through corporate comination!