How to Handle Sibling Rivalry

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By cwengre
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Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry is known to every parent who has more than one child. Learning how to effectively teach your kids how to fight fair and problem solve will help the family learn to get along.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

If you are dealing with your children constantly fighting it is important to set up some ground rules with them to teach them to fight fair. Ground rules such as no physical violence, like hitting or kicking each other. No calling each other names. Being careful not to raise voices at each other. Ground rules are useful in keeping the disagreements from escalating.
Step 2

When you hear the fighting begin. Start by having each child identify what their problem is. Ask them to come up with a few ideas that would solve the problem. If they continue to bicker during this process ask them to separate into different areas and come back with their solutions within a few minutes. Give each child a chance to share their ideas. If they have trouble coming up with solutions, offer some solutions that you think might work. Everyone should agree on the solution. This process can be lengthy but stick it out and you will begin to see change.
Step 3

Once step 2 has been practiced a few times then parents its time to stay out of it. When the children come to you to tattle on the other tell them politely it is not your problem and you believe that they both can come up with a solution to work it out.
Step 4

Try very hard to not take sides with one child or the other. Even if you clearly can see the one child might be in the wrong, try and have that child identify that for themselves. Taking sides encourages sibling rivalry and teaches the child to avoid problem solving skills by getting someone to stick up for them.
Step 5

During times that the children are playing well together, be sure to praise them for getting along so nicely. Also when they solve a problem together be sure to tell them how proud you are that they handled the problem on their own.
Step 6

Model fair fighting. When you as the parent are in a disagreement with someone your children are learning from you how you handle the situation. Be sure to model the behavior you would like your children to display.