How to Deal with Stalkers

It can be terrifying to have someone who just will not leave you alone. It could be a former spouse, an ex boyfriend/girlfriend, or maybe just some weirdo out of cyberspace. How can you deal?

Things You'll Need

• Wisdom
• Supportive friends
• The police

Instructions

1. Really think through this person's obsession with you. Is there any discernible pattern? Can you understand what they are after?

2. Take into account your relationship. If it is a former spouse, fiancée, or something very close, do not whitewash the stalking. Statistics show that most often, people are murdered by those they know and love - not random strangers. Don't think, "Oh, she would never do that," or "Oh, he's not that kind of person."

3. Take a close friend into confidence about the situation. Often when it is you the stalker is after, emotion clouds judgment. Ask the trusted friend what they think.

4. Take all safety precautions necessary. NEVER agree to meet with this stalker alone.

5. Distance yourself. Change your phone number. Delete them out of your Facebook, MySpace, or other online network. Better yet, send an e-mail to all your friends explaining briefly what you're doing and shut your Facebook/MySpace/whatever down completely. The Internet is far too available to weirdos like stalkers.

6. Try to work this out without escalating it. Do they have a church? Most churches have mechanisms in place to discipline errant members. Many clubs do as well. Do you have mutual friends? See if you can get their help. Send the stalker a BACK OFF notice and make it clear that you WILL take it up if they persist.

7. Go to the police. If you feel this stalker is threatening you in any way, do not hesitate to get the authorities involved. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

Tips & Warnings

• Stalkers may try all kinds of "cute" things to get back with you. Changing numbers, sending sweet text messages, little gifts, even finding ways to weasel their way into parties of people with you. Don't fall for it! This stalker is a creep. Remember that.

• According to the Stalking Resource Center, 1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetimes. Just because you are a man does not mean you should not be careful.

• 76% of murdered women were stalked in the 12 months leading up to their killing. It's chilling to reflect that 67% were stalked by an intimate partner. (For more chilling facts, click the link below.)

Resources

• Important Facts About Stalking