How to Care for a Child with Separation Issues

Do you babysit or run a daycare? Children with separation anxiety pose a challenge that requires patience and tact. Learn some tips on handling this delicate situation.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Understanding
• A quite place to adjust
• A gentle tone of voice

1. When the parent delivers the child into your care, instruct the parent to clearly tell the child what to expect that day and when he/she will return. The parent should then give a kiss and a hug, say a casual goodbye and make a upbeat exit.

2. If the child cries when mommy or daddy leaves, reassure them that they will be returning at the time specified. Don't go out of your way to calm the child down. Instead, distract them with a pleasant activity. This should be something the child likes that will occur anyway during the day, such as coloring or building a block tower together.

3. Continue the day as normal. The child may ask for the parent many times throughout the day and stopping to reassure the child every time will take up much time. Instead, restate gently that mommy/daddy will be back to pick them up later. Give a hug but move on.

4. Pack as many fun activities into the day as possible. If you can keep the child's mind off of the parent, you've already won half the battle. It's not that you want the child to forget the parent, you just want to create an environment that the child finds enjoyable and will not be afraid to experience without mom or dad.

5. Allow the child at least 4 weeks to totally integrate. If, by this time, the child has not gotten used to the parent leaving, don't worry. Remind the parent not to reward crying with a treat and to act as normal as possible.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't attempt to calm an upset child with candy, toys or other goodies. In the end, the result of giving candy for a behavior will create more of the behavior.
• The sooner you integrate the child into a normal schedule, the quicker the child will get used to the parent leaving. Things will get better!
• Warn the parent(s) not to linger after dropping the child off.
• No matter how resistant a child may me to integrating into your planned schedule, calmly continue the day as normal.
• If someone else is going to pick the child up at the end of the day, make sure the parent informs the child so he/she knows what to expect.
• Don't ask the parent prying questions to try to psychoanalyze the child. It's not your business what happens when you're not around. It's also far more likely that the child is just afraid to be without the parent in a new place.

Resources

• BabyCenter.com

[starrwd]

on 6/22/2009 This is definitely a useful resource. All child care workers should know this information.

[SchoolOfLife]

on 3/12/2009 I enjoyed reading this article. Well written. Keep up the good work. :)

[cwengre]

on 3/5/2009 Very good tips.

[jaredsgirl]

on 3/5/2009 Great tips for caring with a child who has separation issues. Very helpful. 5*

[almondspecial]

on 3/4/2009 Very useful article and well written thank you for all the tips and warnings.