How to Move Back in With Your Parents after Your Divorce

During and after a divorce you may find yourself mentally and financially broke. Money may be tight and your mental health may need some recharging. I say if you have the option of moving back in with your parents do it, especially if you have children. I know it can be hard to swallow your pride and make the move home but there are many benefits to having a safe place to fall. Parents are often happy to help out, both emotionally and financially. As a result, the arrangement often works to everyone's satisfaction. Now don't get me wrong – there can be family tension, misunderstandings and stress over money. Here are some steps to make the move home a little less painful for you and your children.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Communicate! This is the key. Before any move-in takes place, sit down with your parents and your children and discuss the mutual expectations and house rules. Do this as early as possible to help prevent misunderstandings. Be specific. Will your parents be babysitting for you? How will cooking and meals be handled? Will the children be given household chores? Talk over these issues up front so there is no friction down the road.

2. Consider your position. Remember, it is still your parents house and you must respect their rules. I know this is a tough one as an adult who has been living as a grownup for quite some time now. Hopefully your parents will not revert to treating you as the child you once were. They should respect that you are an adult now. If you feel they are not respecting you kindly point this out to them. They may not even be aware they are doing this.

3. Pay rent or contribute to the household. By contributing to the household whether financially or by doing household tasks you will feel much better about yourself and your parents will appreciate it. The last thing you want is for them to think you are taking advantage of them. Surprise them often with unexpected odd jobs.

4. Avoid new debt. This is the time to get ahead. Maybe you want your own place soon. Maybe you plan on staying with your parents until the children are done with schooling, regardless, now you can put money away for the future. This is your chance to financially plan ahead.

5. Set up a time-line. How long do you plan on staying with your parents? Is this just a short term thing or maybe you plan on staying through out the children's school years. You may just need a short period to get back on your feet and then your ready for a place of your own. Maybe you get back on your feet but choose to stay with your parents because of the many added benefits of living with extended family. Knowing what the plan is gives you a sense of security and you will not feel like you are in limbo.

6. Give your parents space. Take yourself or your kids out of the house for a few hours and give your parents a break. They might appreciate a bit of peace and quiet. Maybe they will take the kids for you on occasion too.

7. Feel good about your choice. Do not worry what others think. Yes, you may get a hard time about living with "the Rentals" but you know you are doing what is best for you and your kids.

Tips & Warnings

• Living with your parents allows you to save money.
• Living with your parents can provide the emotional support of loved ones. You are less likely to feel alone.
• Living with your parents allows you access to better living conditions. You may not be able to afford something as nice on your own.
• Grandparents can help fill in the gaps and provide extra support when you feel tired or overworked. It's nice to have someone there to help you out when you need a helping hand.
• Living in the same household can also help to strengthen the bond between grandparents and grandchildren.

[63miranda]

on 3/2/2009 You are so wise! Love the picture. 5*