How to Be Respected In A Relationship

Respect is one thing every healthy relationship needs. Respect is a fundamental human right, and everyone needs respect from their friends, family, strangers, and their partners. We need to be respected. When we are not respected by others, we lose self respect. When we lose self respect in a relationship, the relationship is no longer healthy. Here's how to be respected in a relationship.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Respect yourself.
   
   Respect starts at home. With you. When you respect yourself, others follow suite. Self respect is important to have before you start a relationship. You should have a well of self respect that you can draw on whenever you are feeling low or down. This prevents your partner from being the one who controls how you feel about yourself. When you have self respect, you are in control of how you feel about yourself as a person.

2. Don't sacrifice your self respect for the supposed benefit of your partner.
   
   Sometimes, the more powerful person in a relationship will sacrifice their self respect to make their partner feel better about his or her self, or to supposedly level the playing field of the relationship. Sacrificing yourself for the supposed benefit of your partner is always a terrible mistake. Never do it. Instead of dragging yourself down so your partner doesn't feel "outshone", try to elevate your partner. Be supportive of your partner's ambitions. Teach your partner to find his or her own well of self respect, and not to be dependent on your approval.

3. If you feel you are being respected, clarify the issue immediately and directly without anger.
   
   If you feel your partner isn't respecting you, bring the issue up immediately. By setting a serious precedent of self respect, you limit the opportunities for your partner to pick on your supposed weaknesses.

4. Find out the reason your partner is not respecting you.
   
   Sometimes, a partner will lose respect for another partner for strange and unnecessary reasons. Perhaps one your partners trusted friends doesn't like you. Perhaps your partner feels like you get more attention than you should. Whatever the reason, find out why your partner is not respecting you. The core of the issue may be little more than a fantasy your partner has about you, and very little to do with reality. If you can get your partner to air grievances, you can debate them and reassure your partner that you are indeed, worthy of respect, as is everyone else.

5. Don't get too close.
   
   If you get too close to your partner, too fast, they are likely to lose respect for you. Don't turn into you partner, suddenly sharing all of his or her interests and friends. If you become too close to your partner, the partner will likely project his or her insecurities onto you. (That's because the partner thinks you are more like him or her than you actually are.) When a partner is projecting insecurities onto you, they will generally treat you with the same respect they give themselves, which can be problematic if your partner isn't confident and lacks self respect. Retain a distinct identity from your partner, and maintain your friends and interests. The relationship will be much better for it. Remember you are one half of a relationship.

[MarlaineMarie]

on 3/2/2009 Good advice!