How to Know You Are Not in Love

You may be feeling like your relationship with your mate is going downhill. Could it be that you are no longer in love with him or her, but would still like to keep the relationship? Article explains.

Things You'll Need

• Time to yourself
• Ideas to enhance the relationship
• A conversation with your partner
• A new perspective on what being in love really means to you

Instructions

1. First, you will need the time alone to evaluate why you feel the way you do. Could it be some significant changes that have occurred in your life that is causing you to feel this way such as a new baby, financial problems, a new job, difficult family members, etc.

2. If you realized that none of the above issues are making you feel this way then skip the next two steps and go straight to the tips and warnings at the bottom of this page.

3. If you realize that maybe stressful events in your life is contributing to the way you have been feeling lately and it doesn't have anything to do with how you feel about your mate, then do the following. Brainstorm for ways to make you feel comfortable and secure in the relationship if these are your issues. Find ways to problem solve such as listing a problem or pet peeve and how might it be dealt with between you and your mate. For instance, maybe the children are getting in the way of your relationship. You may need to put the children to bed earlier so that you have time with your partner or let them visit other family members more often. You may have money problems maybe you both need a spending and savings plan. You may also need to find additional ways to bring money to the home if it means you have to sell some things or make sacrifices to get some much needed things for the home.

4. Next, take the time to talk with your mate about your feelings. He or she may be feeling the same way. However, you don't want to tell your mate you are no longer in love with him or her unless you are prepared to end the relationship. Rather, just explain to them how you would like to enhance the relationship and be open to anything they may say about it as well. Try to remain calm even if what they say hurts.

5. If you feel that there is no way to resolve the issues you may have with your mate such as going to counseling, reading self-improvement books and following the advice, or visiting a doctor or pastor then start making plans to end the relationship.

Tips & Warnings

• The following are signs you are no longer in love and may not be able to recover from the way you feel about your mate:

• You don't want to be around them and have no desire to touch or say anything nice to them.

• You no longer want to date only him or her, but would prefer to date others.

• When making plans, thinking about the future, you often think in terms of me not we.

• You don't listen nor bother to understand what makes them happy, sad, angry, confused, etc.

• You often feel guarded around this person. You don't want to share your emotions, time, space, or money.

• If you are experiencing any of these issues then it may be time to say goodbye.

• Remember don't tell your partner you are not in love with him or her unless you are ready to end the relationship. You may find yourself prematurely saying this when you are really having difficulty with something or someone else in your life. The last thing you want to do is break up before you are ready; otherwise you will find yourself playing the break up to make up game!

Resources

• Thoughts About Love