How to Choose a Christian Marriage Counselor

One of the hardest things Christian couples can do is admit there is a problem in their marriage that merits the enlistment of a marriage counselor. The second hardest thing is actually finding a Christian marriage counselor. The qualification expectations take a different direction when choosing a Christian counselor over a secular therapist. Couples who take this route want to make sure their beliefs are respected, that God is the ultimate point of wisdom and that the counselor has a deep knowledge of various marital issues and how to effectively guide others through them. Here you will learn what to look for in a Christian marriage counselor so that you have a head start on successfully choosing the best qualified candidate to help you and your spouse through the rough areas that marriages encounter.

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

1. Agree with your spouse on what you're looking for in a Christian marriage counselor. Will you be more comfortable with a certified, licensed therapist or a lay counselor with a strong track record of helping couples over the hump? When choosing a Christian counselor, you want to try to start on the same page to ensure success.

2. Run from any counselor who may have a skewed gender bias, calling it doctrinally sound. God created Eve from Adam's side to be his helpmate, not his servant. She was not created from his head to rule over him nor from his foot to be trampled on. If your counselor has any other view than the equality with which man and womankind were created, find a new one fast.

3. Remember the adage, "birds of a feather." Not all Christian counselors are alike because not all Christian denominations are alike. Make sure you choose a counselor who shares yours and your spouse's theology on everything from the sovereignty of God to the sanctity of marriage.

4. Know what gender you will both be comfortable with in a Christian marriage counselor. If either of you has had a bad experience in the past with a male or female authority figure, especially someone in the medical field, it may be hard to soften to guidance from the same gender. It may seem like a non-issue until you or your spouse hear something hard, then that past experience may rear its ugly head, sabotaging your chance for successful marriage counseling.

5. If possible, choose someone outside your church. Your first inclination may be to choose someone you see on a weekly basis. But if things go badly or you open up to embarrassing situations about yourself, it could make for some uncomfortable encounters down the road. You don't want to ruin friendships or your ability to be comfortable in your own church home, so consider this option strongly.