How to Scare Guys Away from Your Daughter

I do not recall ever meeting a parent who has not worried themselves sick when their teen daughter ventures into the world of dating. It is indeed a scary time filled with worry and uncertainty, and I am not talking about for the girl, but rather the parents. Admit it. No guy is going to be good enough for your little girl. Unfortunately, it is inevitable. Girls grow up, become interested in boys, and there is nothing we as parents can do about it. Or is there?

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. I like to put those prospective guys who want to date my daughter through a complete, rigorous interview process.

2. 
    

   Start the process by placing an application in the guys hands. This may be just enough friendly intimidation to cause this guy to lose interest in your daughter immediately, especially if they don't have the right intentions. However, in the case that he is ready and prepared to face the challenge, you must continue.

3. The application should start with general information such as name, date of birth, address, and phone number. That is the easy part for you, and for the new prospect.

4. 
    

   In addition to the general information, require several letters of reference, at least three of which are current teachers or coaches. The letter needs to be an overall character reference

5. 
    

   Require that he provide you a copy of the past three school report cards. This way you can make sure that school is a priority to him and that he has some reasonable amount of intelligence.

6. Request a copy his driving records, license, and proof of insurance. You surely don't want your little girl riding around with a wreckless driver!

7. 
    

   Require that he write a four page essay, properly formatted and correct in grammar and spelling, explaining his life goals, what he wants in life, what he plans to do with his life, and how he will accomplish these goals.

8. Ask him to write a Letter of Intent explaining his specific intentions with your daughter, why he wants to date her, and why he feels he is good enough for your daughter.

9. 
    

   Finally, schedule a two hour, one-on-one, face-to-face, interview with you, the parents, to discuss and review the entire application. Feel free to ask him unexpected questions to determine his ability to respond appropriately under pressure.

10. 
     

    If the prospective guy provides and abides by all of these requirements, explain to him that he is on a 90-day probationary period, and any mess-ups will result in immediate dismissal and a harsh review of the specific circumstances. By the way, if he does succeed in what you have put him through, maybe he deserves a chance!

[mydamnhair]

on 11/2/2009 haha honestly? if my girlfriends parents did that i would be so freaked out but this is just too funny 5*

[ciabo3504]

on 10/7/2009 This was hilarious! I have my first daughter on the way, so I appreciate this article even now! 5*

[tundranut]

on 3/5/2009 Now really, what could be better than this? As the mother of 5 sons and 2 daughters, I can easily see the value in this very amusing, entertaining, and empowering article. 5

[AmyRose]

on 3/4/2009 This should be made into a movie, 5*

[Oktobers]

on 3/2/2009 We already have the application! My dad found it! I crack up every time I read it!