How to Survive A Death of Husband Part 4

Its been over 40 years sense my husbands death. You can never get over it. But you do learn to live with it.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

1. I had people tell me at the time, that I would get over his death. No, it doesn't work that way. You can learn to live with it. You can move on with your life. There are no set rules on grieving. We are all different and have to do things, in our own way and our own time. Never let anyone tell you any different. People mean to be kind, but they can not know what is best for you.

2. I would get really angry, when someone would tell me " that they knew how I felt, because they had divorced someone." With a sudden death there are no goodbyes. You may feel guilty about something you did or didn't do, before his death. Please don't, it was not your fault. These are tough words to follow when you hurt, but you must keep moving on. There are no set rules, if you want to go to the movies or somewhere, do so. There are no time limits, the heck with what is suppose to be polite. The people that made those rules, are not the ones that have to live with them.

3. People tried to push me into dating a few months later. I just was not ready. All I did was make the date miserable. A few years later, I met someone and remarried. Its not the same and will never be. But we have a happy life, and have been married now for 31 years. Yes, the pain is still there, and I have been honest with my husband, and he understands my feelings.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk about your feelings.
• Never let anyone pressure you into something.
• Time to grieve is different for all of us.
• Do it your way.
• You can survive.
• If you feel that you need counseling , please get it.

[brutustalks]

on 2/26/2009 Hi hrevel, what a wonderful idea, thank you I will check it out.