How to Handle a Cheating Husband or Wife

This article gives survival tips and encouragement for those dealing with a cheating spouse.

Instructions

1. 

   One of the most stressful things in life can be having to deal with a cheating husband or wife! An unfaithful spouse can certainly bring about heartbreak and misery. The good news is there are ways to cope with it! The first step in the healing process is to admit there is a problem, and if your reading this then you most likely already realize he or she is less than faithful to the vows they took in marriage.

2. Once you realize that your mate is forsaking those sacred vows the pain of heartbreak sets in. You have to realize that it isnt your fault. The first thing most of us tend to do is blame ourselves. It is NOT your fault! No marriage is problem free and no one person is perfect. The fact that you have flaws and imperfections just like every other human being does not give your husband or wife the right to cheat!

3. Ladies we are the most guilty of this. We tend to think "if I had not gained extra weight,if I had not cut my hair, or if I had given him more attention he wouldn't be doing this". Wrong! It would not matter if you were a size 0 or looked as if you just stepped off the cover of Cosmo, he would still be the same lying, cheating snake that he is. The same goes for you jaded men out there. If you were the spokes model for GQ she would still have broken your heart. Plain and simply put...its all about them and what they are made of , it isnt about you. If it is in them to be unfaithful then they will be, no matter how good you are to them or how close to perfect you try to be.

4. Now that you realize he or she has been unfaithful. What do you do next? You have to make your mind up to forgive them or to move on. Don't rush this decision. Give yourself some space and the time to work this part out within yourself. Don't let other people influence your decision. If you have had an other wise happy marriage and feel that you have something worth saving, then by all means go with your heart. Consider marriage counseling. Sit your mate down and make them understand that by agreeing to work on the issue you are in no way saying that you accept or approve of what he or she had done or of the way that they have behaved, only that you love them enough to give them one opportunity for change and forgiveness.

5. If you just cant find it within yourself to provide your cheating mate with another chance, dont guilt yourself. If you feel it is over then so be it. You are not obligated to provide he or she with a second chance. Your mate knew they were risking their marriage when they made the choice to be unfaithful. They fully understood the consequences of their actions. You have to do what is right for you at this point in your life.

6. 

   The most important thing is to just give yourself time to heal. It is emotionally draining to find out that the one you love has broken the most important promise they ever made to you. Find someone to talk to whether its a therapist or just a good friend. Whomever you choose to vent to, make certain that the person is impartial and non judgemental. You need support and encouragement at this juncture in your life, not some sidewalk Dear Abby that just wants to delve out advice. Remember no one married this man or woman but you, and no one but you knows if it is time to throw in the towel.

Tips & Warnings

• Give yourself time and space to heal

• Don't blame yourself.

• Don't feel guilty about the way you choose to precede, whether it is to work things out or divorce.