How to Get Through a Deployment

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By marinadorito
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My husband waiting for a flight out from Maine.

Some deployments can last for more than a year. It's one of the hardest things a spouse (significant other), child, or family member can go through. While you may have the comforts of home your deployed love one doesn't, you still need a way to get through the long days and even longer nights.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Family
Friends
Computer or laptop
Cell phone

Step 1

Stay open to a change in plans.

There is a flurry of activity in the beginning. Sometimes leave dates get moved and all your plans go right down the drain. Try to go with the flow. It's just as stressful on your loved one as it is on you.
Step 2

Purchase a cell phone.

There is nothing worse at this time than missing a phone call from your deployed loved one. Get a cell phone and keep it with you so you never miss a call.
Step 3

Have access to the internet.

Depending on where your loved one is deployed, they may only have access to a computer and not a phone. If you do not have access at home and do not have a friend or family member with internet, check out your local library. Most libraries have internet access.
Step 4

Be prepared for no contact.

The first few days for your loved one are usually spent traveling. They may not have a chance to e-mail or call. It may be a week or longer before you hear anything.

There are also times throughout the deployment when your loved one cannot access the internet or a phone and you may not have any contact for several days. This is typical and normal.
Step 5

Stay positive.

When you do finally get that phone call or e-mail, do your best to stay positive for your loved one. Their job is much easier if they know you are okay. This does not mean you have to be positive throughout the deployment or that you cannot talk to your loved one about things you are struggling with. However, in the beginning, it's easier for them to settle in if they don't have additional worries.
Step 6

Get busy.

Do whatever you can do to entertain yourself. Anything you can do to keep busy while empowering yourself is a great way to spend your time.

See "Tips"
Step 7

Send packages.

Your loved one loves nothing better than packages from home. It's best to ask what they would like to have before you send anything. That way you can send things they are in need of along with the fun things you want to send.

Have your children help prepare packages. It makes them feel included and less helpless.
Step 8

Realize that some days are just no good.

No matter how hard you try, no matter how positive your outlook, no matter how busy you are, some days are going to be overwhelming. Some days you will feel angry. Some you will feel sad. Some you will feel a mixture of both. On those days, just focus on getting through that day.

See "Warnings"
Step 9

Be prepared for the homecoming.

Finally, the day you have waited for arrives and your loved one is coming home! As with the beginning of the deployment, be open to change. Flights change and get delayed. Dates can get moved around.

Most important, your loved one may not be up to the ideas you have planned. As hard as it is, try not to have expectations and remain open to what your loved one is comfortable with. The deployment is over but the adjusting is just beginning. Remember, there is nothing wrong with getting outside help if you need it. Sometimes coming home is harder than leaving.
Step 10

Give yourself a pat on the back.

It takes a strong person to get through a loved one's deployment. We go though it so other families don't have to. We are a silent, but brave minority. Be proud. You are supporting your loved one and your country.