How to Waste an Entire Day On The Couch

How to spend an entire day on the couch doing absolutely nothing.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• COUCH
• Television
• Remote Control
• Cable

1. Do not set your alarm. If you happen to have a daily alarm already set, hit snooze until the sun is fully up.

2. Get up, do not brush your teeth, do not take a shower, do nothing related to cleanliness whatsoever. Stay in the clothes you slept in.

3. Locate remote control, sit on couch, turn on T.V.

4. Find a channel that is running a marathon of something. USA is a good start, they usually have Law & Order on for about 7 hours. But you can always check your favorite channels, maybe travel channel for some Man Vs. Food. If you are planning on getting angry you can always turn on Mtv and count how many full music videos you actually see. Once you realize that it is no longer music television and now Reality television you can ask yourself "where do they find these morons?!"

5. Before you know it, it will be dark again and time for bed. But chances are since you were on the couch all day you will be unable to sleep, so my suggestion to you is to score some sleeping pills or masturbate compulsively until your eyes fall victim to the Sandman.

Tips & Warnings

• This is best done on a day off or maybe with no job at all
• It is also good to avoid all phone calls that may disrupt your focus and cause you to get involved in some sort of outdoor activity.
• Avoid all others while attempting this
• If you have a girlfriend or live with your parents and truly have no job DO NOT ATTEMPT unless your parents have given up on you and your girlfriend is banging someone else, because you are a looooser. GET A JOB!