How to Break Up Properly

Breaking up is never easy but if you're ready to throw in the towel and want to prevent a bloody massacre, here's a few steps on how to do it.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• courage

1. 1) WHEN TO BREAK UP
   There's no good time to break someone's heart but if you plan on doing so, choose Wednesday or the following day. Don't do it at the beginning of the week. That's not the best way to start someone's week off. Letting them know towards the end of the week will likely result in them finding something to do over the weekend amongst their friends to kill the pain. While it may seem like you're ruining someones weekend, its better for them being hurt and with friends rather than for them to be hurt and miserable while trying to focus on their job.

2. 2) WHERE TO BREAK UP
   DO NOT BREAK UP VIA EMAIL, TEXT, PHONE (its considered cowardly)
   I read many articles advising people to do so at a bar, or a loud place. Seriously, how cruel can you be inviting someone to a restaurant or a bar only to break up with them? I would not advise it. "drinks on me", and it might literally be if you attempt it at such places. No matter how loud the place is, its nothing compared to how loud the dumpee can become. Save both of yourselves the embarrassment. My suggestion would be a more private area. A talk at an empty park, or beach is ideal (drive separately or have your own way of getting back home though). DO NOT RIDE TOGETHER! If raining or snowing outside, I recommend going over to their spot. This will make it easier to excuse yourself. Do not invite them over to your place! You will have a hard time getting them to leave.

3. 3) APPEARANCE...
   Remember before you two first went out on a date and it took you 2 hours to get ready? Well this would be the total opposite. When breaking up with someone, its considerate to look the part of a person who doesn't enjoy breaking the bad news. Don't get all dolled up or look as though you're ready to go out right after. That will only make the dumpee more upset that you're already moving on and out n about. While giving people the boot is cold blooded in itself you still need to be respectful of their feelings. If you can look your worse, do so.

4. 4) WHAT TO SAY
   Before you open your mouth, apologize. Its the best way to start off the conversation. Example, " John/Jane, first I'm really sorry we have to meet today and I would like to thank you for allowing me a moment in your life.I wanted to tell you how I've been feeling lately about us. Although we had many memorable moments, we also have differences which prevents me from allowing us to move forward. Lately I don't feel I'm 100%.Its not fair for you to be with someone like me who's not fully there. When I'm with someone I want to give that person my best and I'm sorry to tell you but I'm not at my best and I don't feel I'm that person. While relationships are usually kept strong by growing together, I feel my part to grow with you has stopped. You deserve more and somewhere out there,that person is waiting for you to give you their best".

Tips & Warnings

• Try not to get too specific about the relationship cause that can lead to an argument. Another tip is don't focus too much about what the dumpee did (it can come off as an attack). If possible keep your conversation less about why they're not the right person but more so why you're not the right person for them. Remember, you're trying to have this go as smoothly as possible. With that said, good luck and tell me how it goes!!

[argyle]

on 2/17/2009 Good breakup article. Thanks, and welcome to eHow!

[JimboJambo]

on 2/16/2009 Great advice. So often people take the easy way out and break up via voice mail or text message. Give the other person the decency to do it right, and the relationship at a friendship level can be saved.