Things You'll Need:
- Time
- Friends
- Family
- Professional help
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Step 1
First and probably most important, is to accept the fact that they have died and that it isn't your fault. Your loved one may have taken their own life, but that was their choice not yours. I say this so simply, but in actuality this is a very difficult thing to do. Often survivors wonder what they could have done to prevent the suicide from happening. They often question why they didn't see the signs. Please remember hind-sight is 20/20 and more than likely the victim of the suicide didn't want you to know.
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Step 2
Seek professional help. You may not think you need it, but try it out. Professional counselors have resources that you and I may not know about. They are skilled at being able to help you through the grieving process.
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Step 3
Allow yourself to go through grief at your own speed. There are several stages to your grief: shock, confusion, anger, despair, guilt, and grieving. You may go through these in order, or you may mix them all up. You might experience all of them or only a few. Each person's grief is unique to themselves and you shouldn't rush through any stage you are in. Permit yourself the time to go through these in your own way and time.
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Step 4
Remember your loved one. Perhaps you want to make a memory book, a photo album, or a collection of their favorite music. Choose which way you'd like to honor them. They may be gone from your life, but you can keep them in your heart forever. One way that I remember my father is that I wear his wedding ring on my thumb. Make your way to commemorate them unique to you and your relationship.
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Step 5
Join a support group. Often talking with others who have experienced a suicide will help you to deal with your emotions and thoughts. Just knowing you are not alone can assist immensely. Eventually, you may be the one helping someone else.
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Step 6
Let your family and friends help you in whatever way they can. Make a list of things that they can do for you so they can feel like they are making a difference and you can get some relief from all that must be done.
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Step 7
Visit the resources listed below to learn more about how to deal with a loved one's suicide.
Comments
Kallicat said
on 11/25/2009 I would have to disagree with you moonlightjunipr. Each of us is responsible for our own actions or in-actions that we take in life. If I choose to end my life, it is not the responsibility of any other person; only me. Survivors of suicide often wonder what they could have done to prevent the suicide; however, many times there wasn't anything anyone could have done differently. Having survived the suicide of my husband, I know that there was nothing I could have said or did to prevent it and I am actually lucky to be alive myself (but that is a long story). No one should ever blame themselves for the actions of others. We are only truly responsible for our own; thus we cannot blame others for our actions either.
moonlightjunipr said
on 10/31/2009 people kill themselves when the pain they r feelings exceeds their ability to cope with it. How can u categorically state that if someone close to you commits suicide it's not your fault? you may have to find a way to live with not being able to know the answer, but you should except that the right word or gesture could have bought the person another day to find help and survive. until you honestly do your best to find that answer in your heart you having really dealt with your loss and you dishonor the person that died
MarlaineMarie said
on 6/5/2009 Dealing with suicide is especially hard when the person was young and had so many possibilities still to chose from...........
jenng said
on 3/15/2009 This would be so hard great article 5*
Coach4U said
on 3/5/2009 This is a very good article, thank you for sharing. "5"