Things You'll Need:
- A healthy balance of love for women and the willingness to let them walk away.
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Step 1
Understand the concept of push-pull dynamics.
Put yourself in her place: if an attractive member of the opposite sex were to start hitting on you, but then come off as needy and try-hard, it would be a turn off. You would consider that person clingy and probably having no other options. On the other hand, if that person ignored you, never gave out a compliment, or constantly teased you, you'd assume she weren't attracted, and you'd lose interest.
Push-pull dynamics is the concept that women need to feel loved, attracted and validated, but also need a challenge. The right mixture in any interaction will heighten her attraction for you.
Send mixed signals, be unpredictable, don’t let her ever feel secure in knowing she's totally won you over. This technique is extremely powerful. It's also be known as cat-string theory.
The cat-string theory states that when you dangle a string in front of a cat, it will be willing to play with it. Once you let the string go, however, the cat loses interest and walks away. -
Step 2
Get good at pulling.
When you find a girl attractive or vice versa, that person sends out indicators of interest (IOIs). When not attracted, they telegraph indicators of disinterest (IODs).
Here are examples of IOIs:
a. Touching her. The more intimate the contact, the more she feels your attraction. So patting her on her back is a very ambiguous IOI, while running your fingers through her hair is not.
b. Verbal. Telling a girl you like her because of x, y, or z lets her know you're interested. Making your sexual intent clear (see my article on intent), will put all your cards on the table.
c. Proximity. First, standing near-by her before you approach, will telegraph interest. However, this implies an agenda which is unattractive, so should be avoided. Talking to a girl while standing very close (speaking ear-to-ear) lets her know loud and clear what you feel, while also making her attracted.
d. Pecking. High value men stand tall and let the people they are talking to lean into them (called pecking). Never peck to talk to a girl. If she can't hear you, project more. This is an IOI which lowers your value. -
Step 3
Get good at pushing.
When you're talking to a hot girl, the last thing your mind instinctively thinks of is to push her away. But push her away you must. Not harshly, but enough to make her understand you have other options and aren't quite sure if she's worth your time. Sounds counter-intuitive, but trust me, it works.
Here are some examples of IODs:
a. Withdrawing your attention. This can be done with time constraints ("I need to get back to my friends in a minute.") You can lean away from her as if you're getting ready to leave. You can make more subtle gestures such as looking around the room while she talks to you, talking to others in the set and ignoring her for a bit, or crossing your arms briefly.
b. Reject her touch. If she tries touching you or your accessories, tell her playfully to keep her hands off.
c. Disqualifiers. Use comments that make her think you aren't interested. Talk about your girlfriends. Try to hook up with another guy in the bar. Tell her you only date whatever she isn't (blonde girls, tall girls, librarians, Libras, whatever).
Now that you understand the concept, use calibration (see my article on this concept) to create just the right ratio of IOIs and IODs to spike her attraction for you.
Comments
luckyred said
on 6/28/2009 as always, incredibly high quality content. Thank you and God bless.
williamfjordan said
on 2/18/2009 interesting