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Step 1
There are no set rules. I was 2000 miles from my hometown. It took my family 36 hours to get there for support. My brother in law, wasn't much older than myself. We went together to the funeral home to make the arrangements. One thing you need to remember is that no matter how nice the undertaker is, he is a business man. And he is going to sell you the works. He will take advantage of your grieving, and of you wanting the best for your love one, whether you can afford it or not. You need an older, experience, person to go with you if possible.
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Step 2
When you make the arrangements, remember these are your decisions, no one has the right to take that away from you. You should do what you think is right in your heart, and think that is best, and how you think that your love one would want his/ her funeral. There will be family members there that know it all and will tell you so. Tune them out , but try to be polite. Follow your heart. If you need someone to intervene, do it. If you need a few moments by yourself, take them.
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Step 3
Our daughter was only two years of age, and I choose for her to be at a family members home, during this difficult time. Some thought that I was a terrible mother, I still am glad that I made that decision. The trauma was enough for her as it was. People don't understand unless they have been through this. No one understands how you feel. I will get into that on the next article.
