How to Approach The Woman (or Man) of Your Dreams

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By Nephilian
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Article Rating: (6 Ratings)

Is there someone 'out there' you really want to meet but are too shy, embarrassed, or whatever to approach them? Do they seem out of your league or beyond your reach? They don't have to be

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

A mind
Hope

Step 1

First off, you need to realize that the person you have in your sights is just that...a person. Just like you. Sure, they look different, they may have a different lifestyle, different friends, different everything. But what they have inside is the same as what you have. Fears, doubts, hopes, dreams. They have things that make them happy and sad. No matter how wonderful the person appears or actually is, they are still just a person.
Step 2

You probably hear this a lot, but it's the honest truth...Be yourself! People act a certain way around others depending on what they know about them. You don't act the same way around your best friend as you would a preacher or your parents. Men and women all act differently according to who they are with. You want this person to 'be themselves' around you, and the only way to get them to do that is by being yourself, and hope.
Step 3

Realize that it may or may not work out. You may think you love this person with all your heart, and maybe you do. But no one, regardless of what they feel or how strongly they feel it, can predict the future. Think of all the things you don't know about the person and realize that yes, it could change your view of them enough to not want to be with them. Remember, just as you have things about yourself you don't want them finding out about, they have things they don't want you finding out about, and for the same reasons.
Step 4

You don't have to be courageous, brave, brilliant, charming, or attractive. There are only two things you have to be in order to have a chance and put yourself on the same playing field as all those people you envy. Those two things are 1) You have to be yourself, and 2) you have to be available. Being yourself is difficult, but it's worth discovering exactly who you are. Anyone can repeat a joke, anyone can send flowers and poems. But there it only ONE you. No one else can offer YOU, only you can. And think about this, are you making yourself available by sitting in the dark, hiding, trying to catch glimpses of her / him? No, you're not. You're hiding. If you hide, you won't be seen or heard. That's point of hiding. You don't need to be flashy, just don't hide. Go about your day, live your life, be you.
Step 5

Say 'Hi'. "How are you doing today?" It really is as simple as that. She may not like you, she may not respond. Heck, she may snort and giggle at you. So what? At least then you know, AND you can still love her from the shadows of your heart. Just say 'Hi'. You talk all the time to your friends, your family, people online, people at the store when they greet you while taking your money. This is no different. Just...say...'Hi'.
Step 6

If you can, follow up the 'Hi' with something else. Something like 'How are you?' If you can't, it's okay. Say hi, then move on. Two days later, maybe say hi again. After a short while, a very short while, you will be able to follow up very easily. And maybe you will get lucky and SHE will follow up for you.
Step 7

Always remember two things. This is just another person, just another you, no matter how perfect they seem. Flaws and everything, they are just like you. Also, don't try to get this person to marry you. Just try to open a door a little so you can start to get to know each other. That's ultimately what you want anyways, isn't it? For her to know you?

Comments

ladyofthelake said

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on 10/3/2009 Great job on this article. Very real and kind. We are all human, that is the great equalizer. I fell in Love with my husbands words first, because it was truly him. Rec. and 5*