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Step 1
Rewards. If you notice a circumstance that frustrates your child or tempts him, jump in with a positive option. Let them know that they can have a treat ( a special drink, a walk around the block, whatever their favorite thing is) if they can overcome that challenge (leaving a party without complaint, getting shoes on without being nagged). Immediate rewards for a small success sometimes gets kids on the road to new habits.
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Step 2
Losing privileges. Without counting or begging or repeatedly asking for the desired behavior, just state what privilege they have just lost. Be sure not to say anything long term or difficult to enforce. If you don’t follow up, it’s a lot harder the next time. You might think that the child asking for his privilege back is annoying, but each time is a chance to gently reinforce the reason that they lost their privilege and what they should do next time to keep them.
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Step 3
Silly time. Allowing children to do silly things like pour soap in the sink to make bubbles or singing songs at the dinner table go a long way to creating a family bond. You can still be a firm parent while getting in touch your youthful side.
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Step 4
Talking. It may seem crazy to enter into a discussion with a six year old about how his bedtime routine should go, but there are good reasons to go this route. Writing their wishes down and adding a few ideas of your own, get all the options you can onto the table. Let them think about the options for a day if necessary. Come together and talk about which solutions will work for you and which won’t. Let them give reasons for their wishes. Many issues will solve themselves when the child knows they’ve been listened to.
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Step 5
Choose your battles. The old cliché is true from everything I’ve seen. If you think an issue may not become a bad habit. If you think an offense is something you can live with once or twice. That’s the moment to step back and make a plan. Decide while your head is cool what you will do if the behavior escalates or becomes an undesirable habit. There are so many punishment options available, spanking can remain unused.
