How to Handle Unreliable People You Can't Depend On

Do you have a person in your life who you can't depend on because he or she often does not follow through with plans? You can almost rely on him or her being unreliable? Often times, you will get this type of behavior from a close friend or family member, perhaps because they take the relationship with you for granted, or they could just be a very busy person. If this sounds like someone in your life, read on for some tips on how you can handle these types of people without getting mad or isolating them from your life.

Instructions

1. First, I would not necessarily recommend confronting this person about the problem, because this may push him or her further away. I cannot think of a nice way of telling someone that he or she never follows through with anything! However, you can drop subtle hints or suggestions like: "This is the last time I'll be able to do this for a while," or "I am only able to get together this week and after that I have x, y, and z to do." You can ask, "Do you have any other things going on this day, like work, parties, school, or appointments?" This will help ensure that the person you are speaking with will not have other plans that get in the way of your plans.

2. Call or e-mail the person with which you have plans the day before you meet to confirm your plans, the time, and the location. If you are meeting this person somewhere that is out of your way, don't just show up and assume they will be there! Call at least an hour before it is time to meet to make sure that he or she is also going to be ready and on his or her way.

3. Allow room for error. If you know someone who is habitually late, and you like to stick with a time schedule, make plans to meet that person earlier than you really want to meet them. For example, if you want to have lunch with someone at 12 p.m. and you need to go somewhere else at 1 p.m., plan to meet that person at an earlier time, such as 11:30 a.m. That is, of course, assuming you have this kind of wiggle room in your day. That way, if they're late, your day won't be thrown off too much.

4. Make back up plans. Don't plan your whole day (or night) around an unreliable person. Consider what you will do with your day if he or she ends up canceling or not showing up. If you don't think of this ahead of time, you may end up disappointed, fuming all day, and whining to all of your friends about how your day was ruined. You want to make plans as to how you can be productive or have fun if the other person cancels. Then, if he or she doesn't follow through, you can happily move on to plan b! For example, I just had plans to go snow tubing with a family member. I had a babysitter lined up for my toddler. Predictably, he canceled the day of, and I ended up going on a wonderful date with my husband. I was so happy with the outcome that I was kind of glad the plans were canceled!

5. Finally, while you probably should not cut this person out of your life, do not make frequent plans with an unreliable person. This sounds cold, but if you keep rewarding the bad behavior, why should it stop? Don't be a glutton for punishment!