How to Buy an Amish Fireplace

You've probably seen them--the informercials and two page advertisements offering FREE Amish fireplaces. They promise to save you money on your heating bill to boot! So how do you buy an Amish fireplace? Is this the real deal?

Difficulty:

Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• viewer discretion

1. If you are looking at Amish fireplace advertisements that promise free fireplaces made on the China coast, then stop. Haven't you ever been told there's no such thing as a free ride?

2. Look at the photo of the Amish working on the electric heater. First of all, do the Amish work on plugged in Amish fireplaces in their barns? Is that safe? Don't the Amish shun electricity? Also, note how the fire in each fireplace looks exactly the same.

3. Notice that the ad for Amish fireplaces includes every marketing trick known to man, including urgency and liberal use of the word FREE.

4. If you're not convinced that this is NOT the way to buy an Amish fireplace, then try Googling "Amish fireplace". Read the stories of the people who have paid $600 for two FREE Amish fireplaces that give off the exact same amount of heat as my hairdryer. (1500 btu)

5. If you really want an authentic Amish fireplace, then contact a furniture dealer that you trust. You can order custom made Amish fireplace mantles. You will have to have a real fireplace, with real fire.

6. If you do not want a real fireplace with real fire, then you do not want an Amish fireplace. Every Amish household with a fireplace almost certainly has real fire, as there are no electrical outlets. If you're just looking for the heat, you can go to your local building supply store or discount store and pick one up for about $25.00, which is how much the 1500 btu ones cost.

7. Be aware that running a 1500 btu space heater, which is what the "miracle" "free" Amish fireplace really is, WILL run up your electric bill. It's like leaving your hair dryer on all day.

Tips & Warnings

• There are many authentic Amish furniture suppliers on the web. Don't fall for this one.

• Watch out for marketing tricks like this one. Honestly, it seems as though a group of people sat down and made the most ridiculous advertisement they could, and then made a bet on how many people they could scam with it.