How to Cure the Wedding Jitters

By eHow Weddings Editor

Rate: (9 Ratings)

You're about to take the big plunge, so it's only natural to get cold feet. Think about why you're feeling this way, but keep in mind that many brides and grooms experience the pre-wedding jitters - and that there's a reason you said yes in the first place.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Things You’ll Need:

Stress Management Counseling
Stress Relief Products
Incense
Airline Tickets
Spa Gift Certificates

Step1

Go to a quiet place to get in touch with your feelings whenever the pressures of the pending marriage get to you.

Step2

Reflect upon what you enjoy most about each other, the factors that make you think you'll be happy together and what is really important to you in life and love.

Step3

Think back to the very moment you knew you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with your future spouse.

Step4

Look to couples who have survived and celebrated many years of marriage. They can be a good source of support and great role models.

Step5

Talk with your intended about your doubts and fears. You don't have to wait until after the marriage to communicate.

Step6

Limit the time you spend with those who may be doing the doubting for you. Make sure your fears are really your own and not those of your friends or your parents.

Step7

Set aside some time before the wedding to spend a romantic evening with your partner, away from all the wedding talk and plans.

Step8

Consider going to a couple's counselor to talk out your doubts.

Tips & Warnings

Determine what it is you are really questioning - whether it's the relationship itself or simply the daunting idea of marriage. If your answer is the latter, just know that many couples go through the same fears - after all, you are about to take a huge step in your life.
Ask yourself some questions about any possible changes that may have taken place or that you have discovered since the engagement. Is your partner exhibiting a different behavior or engaging in activities you disapprove of? These are things that should be addressed before you proceed with the wedding plans.

Comments

castingT said

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on 1/16/2007 CBS's "Untitled Musical Reality Project" is currently casting couples who are about to take the big plunge. Do you want to ask your fiancee for a prenup, but don't know how? Let us help you ask that awkward question in a fun, creative way. Contact us ASAP for further info: 818-325-6900 x.6932 or email castingT@gmail.com

Anonymous said

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on 6/11/2007 There is a dirty little secret about weddings that virtually nobody talks about and everyone should know. Weddings are stressful, stress leads to fighting, and fighting leads to doubts, fear and worry. If this describes your relationship, rest in assurance that you are not alone. There are many couples out there that fear that fighting means that they are not right for each other. Certainly, this is something to consider if the fights are about major issues such as children, religious beliefs and where to live. Many couples go through the bickering stage during the pre-wedding stage. For some people, pre-marital counseling is a good option. This step doesn't?t mean your relationship is falling apart, and for many couples it can reaffirm their commitment to the relationship. Another important benefit is that you will find you can develop important communication skills that you may have been able to get by without in the past.

If you choose to press on, just take some time to think about the reason you said yes to that person, or the reason you proposed. Sometimes the best way to reignite the spark in a relationship is to do something romantic. Sure, you might not feel like it, but going through the motions should eventually get you in the mood for romance. Just set the stage and allow yourself to open up to the reasons you love the other person. You have come this far with them, after all, there must be some reason.

If you are on each others back all the time, it might not mean you aren't?t right for each other, it may just mean you are stressed and nervous. And remember, you are not alone. There are a lot of other people who feel like you do.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 I started getting the wedding jitters. They manifested in dreams of me being with other men. I woke up and thought I would never have the first date butterflies, and this was it. I forgot how lucky I was. Reflect on why you fell in love with him (or her), and although there will be no more "first dates," think of all the firsts you'll have being married. Honeymoons, traveling, children, graduation, etc.

I realized that I had to stop taking the fact that I had a great man in my life for granted. I had to remember how many people I dated and hated. I had to remember what it was like wondering when my prince charming would come, and if there was somebody out there for me. There is life after marriage. As far as those first date butterflies, we still go out to nice dinners and talk about "new" topics instead of the day-to-day routine.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 My "better half" did not start going out until we were engaged. I mean, REALLY going out -- every other night. I think men are afraid of being confined too much. A "loss of freedom" thing. We came to an agreement: One night a week is his to roam.

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