How to Move In With Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

Moving In Together

So you're dating and digging each other - so much so that you want to be with each other all the time. One of you gets the great idea to play house. It could be the best thing to ever happen or your worst nightmare.

Instructions

1. Wait. When you're in love, especially those first precious months of "can't get enough of each other-itis," you're bound to have clouded judgement. If you were on drugs, would you make such an important decision? No! Realize you're on an emotional high of sorts and take a step back and evaluate the situation.

2. Make sure you really love each other. I'm not talking 'bout the infatuation, great sex period. I'm talking, you know this person, front to back, good moods and bad, and are willing to see them - bad breath and messy habits - in all sorts of conditions. Moving in together is a huge step, one easily entered into, but fraught with danger to exit. Like they say, why pay for the cow if you're getting the milk for free? You better damn well love that cow.

3. Put love aside. How much do you really know about this person? Is he reliable? Can she pay the bills? Are you moving in because you love each other or is it simply a financial situation with benefits? If it's purely financial, get a platonic roommate. Don't mix business and pleasure! Why are you moving in with each other, anyway? Is it a pre-marriage trial run? Really think about these and other questions you might have and be brutally honest with yourself.

4. Figure out if you're mature enough. Is this something you really want? If you thought breaking up was hard, try doing it with the equivalent of a human barnacle. Whether you're a man or woman, if you're young, why are you shacking up at all? Because "all your friends are doing it?" Because you get lonely? Give yourself a good, long look in the mirror and make sure you have the emotional wherewithal to commit to this.

5. Once you've made the decision to move in with each, now comes the hard part. Decide beforehand how you are going to pay the bills. Not only which bills, e.g. groceries, cable, electricity, but by how much. Will you split the bills? What happens if one of you loses their job?

6. Decide, too, how you are going to divvy up the chores. Is it every man for himself? Who cleans the bathroom? Who cleans the kitchen? These may seem like small, even petty, questions, but they are better addressed in advance than arguing about the outcome once you both share an address.

7. Decide on guests. As any married couple will tell you, you don't just marry a person, you marry a family. What are the rules if your girlfriend's mother wants to come and visit?

8. Put both of your names on the lease to avoid any legal problems should you break up down the line. Furthermore, be clear about ownership on anything you purchase together. Suppose you both buy a couch together and then end up breaking up. Who gets the couch? That's why receipts are so important. This is exponentially more important if you get a pet together. You don't want to have to end up on "Judge Judy" to work things out.

Resources

• How To Propose To Your Girlfriend