How to Cope After a Long-term Relationship Has Ended

When the flames have sizzled in your relationship or when it’s time to start seeing other people, it can be hard to do after a long-term relationship has ended. So, when ice cream and crying it out isn’t enough- read this article on how to get back on track with your life.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Time
• Understanding

1. Typically what happens after a long-term relationship has run its course is that you probably feel out of synch with the dating game. Perhaps it’s been so long that you’ll feel dating could be different now. The truth? Dating hasn’t changed unless you want it to change. Sure- people are looser when it comes to making out or friendly nap hours together, but if you’re not comfortable with that, it shouldn’t happen. You shouldn’t try to keep up with someone else because it will tire you out where you don’t want to do it again. You should go at your own pace and find someone you can stroll with.

2. The quickest way to help you move on is to get a make-over! Changing up your hair style is the quickest and most affordable way to feel new. Try a color you’ve never done before or splurge a little to pamper yourself. Right now it’s all about new confidence and esteem. Once you’ve done that amazing make-over, you should go out and have some fun with some close friends.

3. A trip away from home and memory lane will do your soul some good. Take a short road trip or fly away for a few days. New sights and sounds and new experiences can really lift your spirits. This is now a new chapter and you’re the star in the story.

4. If money is an issue, you should consider moving in with a room mate. Having someone new to live with that you are just friends with can be an exciting and new experience. Having someone with you during this difficult time can be great for support and to help you move on as well.

5. Sometimes, the best way to move on is to get closure. Closure is something that you do or something that happens where you finally accept how your life is and you are ready to move on. Closure comes in different ways to different people. Sometimes talking things out with the other person will help you get over them. When that’s not an option for whatever reason, you should try to let them go. Either by getting rid of anything you two had together, formally (in your own way) say “Good Bye” to them inside of yourself, or talking through your pain with another close confident.

6. Sometimes, when something tragic happens, professional help may be required. Everyone takes change differently, especially those who didn’t have a choice in how the relationship ended. When you are depressed, you sometimes don’t know it yourself. A professional and licensed Doctor will be able to find symptoms of depression and may help you over come this time. Many people are ashamed of depression or won’t admit it, which is when a strong support of family and friends are needed.

7. For some people, being alone helps the greatest. If you tend to hold your emotions inside, being alone for a while could possibly cure you better than any support system. A time when no one can bother you or pester you about details or how you feel could be the best medicine for you. There are some people who believe that holding your emotions inside is not good for you; but for those who do hold their emotions inside for their whole life, have a way of coping with it (or they wouldn’t have lasted as long as they have). There are very private people out there, and for those, this is the best method: to grieve in private.

8. For the extremist, they tend to like to do something wild. A new tattoo sometimes makes you feel better. For those who aren’t ready to commit, there are the Henna tattoos that stay on for about three weeks but goes away. People like to get piercings or they try something extreme, such as sky diving, tons of drinking, or go on a wild streak for a while. Eventually, once you’ve stopped grieving, you will get out of this phase. (Of course there are some people who are naturally extreme; this scenario is meant for those who aren’t typically extreme but fall into the phase for a while).

9. There are tons of other ways on how to cope after a long-term relationship has ended and every one takes things differently. Above were common steps and ideas that have proved to work on many people while they attempt to move on with their life. At that exact moment in time when grief and shock has taken you over, you’ll feel confused and lost. But believe me, don’t do anything too insane, like stalking the other person because a year later, or whenever you’ve gotten over that person, you’ll look back and feel very embarrassed. The best way to go about this is to be realistic and to find yourself.

Tips & Warnings

• Now is a time to find yourself and to learn to be strong on your own. Spending time alone and thinking through what you expect the next time around can help you find who you are.
• When you first start dating after a long while, you should bring a friend a long and double date. This will help you ease back into the game until you’re comfortable.
• The best way to move on is to not dwell on the past so much. Instead, keep looking straight a head and be strong.
• Some might wonder why this article reminds you to find yourself a lot. The reason is because when people are in a relationship, they are a different person from when they are single. Because of that, you change and are no longer the same person after the relationship has ended. You grow, learn, and become stronger. With these new experiences, you have to find who you are, in the end. Do you like this new you or what will you be willing to sacrifice the next time you are in another relationship again.
• Jumping into another relationship so fast sometimes does not give you enough time to get over the first relationship and can lead to ruin in the new one.
• Some people become addicted to the atmosphere of a night club. Unless it’s what you really want, you shouldn’t try to hide your pain with booze and a wild night life. Some people, especially those just coming out of a really long relationship where a lot of experiences were missed, tend to go a little crazy with the night life. Either way, just take it slow and try to find yourself during this time, not trouble. Of course, going out and having fun once in a while is great for you, just be cautious.
• You should do what feels right and makes you happy. But be cautious of your loved ones who may worry about you. In the process of moving on, try to think about others and how your behavior may affect them, too.

[Elizabethknows]

on 6/30/2009 these tips and thoughts are great and thanks for sharing them 5*