How to Make Your Wife Feel Special Everyday

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

An open and thoughtful mind.
A notepad
A shoe box
Post-it notes
Love for your wife
Imagination
Attention
Motivation

Step 1

Research. I cannot overemphasize the importance of paying attention to details - especially small ones. You have a clear advantage to understanding what makes your wife happy - You Live With HER! What better vantage point than being under the same roof with the object of your quest.

Allow yourself to mentally walk in her shoes for a day. Make note of what makes her happy and what causes her frustration. Seriously, take notes. We keep records and journals for all sorts of daily things. Why not chronicle what makes us happy, sad, sentimental, or just plain worn out. Please don't treat this as an anthropology study, i.e. observing the homo-wifeous in her natural environment. I am suggesting to just jot down ideas as they present themselves.

This is also where the shoe box comes in to play. Save the little things that often can mean so much. Maybe it was a card, a letter, a receipt from a wonderful dinner or play. Save these little things in a safe place. When you need inspiration, go to the box. It will hold a lifetime of memories and romance. I saved the dinner receipt from our first date. When we got engaged six months later, I taped that receipt inside the card I gave to my love. The memories and tenderness brought back to mind from that small piece of paper were wonderful for us both. Its the little things that mean so much to all of us.
Step 2

Lift her burden. If you have been together for more than a year, you probably have settled into a routine of specific household tasks. One person does the laundry. Another mows the grass. One cleans the kitchen after dinner, one pays the bills. Most of us get into the rut of this routine. I promise there are few items which your wife dislikes or possibly even loathes. By paying attention to her, you will quickly discover what these are. Surprise her by completing one of these tasks for her.

Lets say she typically folds the laundry before bed. Excuse yourself for some reason from her presence. Sneak to the location of the laundry, and neatly fold the clothes. Leave them right where she would have gone to get them when it was time for her chore. Imagine she is trudging down the hall to attack the laundry. She goes to get the basket, and ahhh the clothes are folded! To a tired, overworked wife this can often be equal to a gift. Its not just that the job is done, but you were thoughtful enough to do it. Don't make a big production out of your accomplishment. Don't seek credit, it will come on its own, naturally. I like to tell my wife that "The Laundry Fairy Must Have Come". A bonus is that you both may find a better way to spend the 20 minutes that would have been spent by her folding laundry!

Do these "sniper chores" often, but do them randomly.
Step 3

Random acts of romance. Any joker can call the florist or drop $500 at the jeweler. It takes thoughtfulness to make her heart jump on a Wednesday morning in January.

You know when your wife typically showers. Sneak into the shower before she does. Bring a small knife - something to carve with. Now carefully fashion the bar of soap into the shape of a heart. Don't worry about it being perfect. It's imperfection is what makes it special. This isn't ice sculpting. Hearts are easy - everyone knows the shape.

What?! She doesn't use bar soap?! Relax, be creative. Grab some of her lipstick. Make a heart on the shower wall. Put your and her initials in the middle. You just duplicated one of the most traditional signs of love ever - the heart carved into the tree. Don't worry, she isn't going to mind the loss of lipstick.

Hide her favorite snack somewhere in her car where she'll find it on the way to work. Even wrap it with a short "I Love You" written on a napkin.
Step 4

Hidden notes or surprises. Everyone loves surprises, especially thoughtful ones. Small sweet, special notes can make a Hallmark card look like yesterday's news. Again, any old guy can find the card aisle at the drug store. Its the creativity and surprise that make the difference.

When I say "hidden", I don't mean hidden like she is on a scavenger hunt. Just make them hidden from plain site. Does she grab the same coffee mug from the cabinet each morning? Put a little note inside the mug before bed. When she goes for her morning brew, she will get two wake-me-ups.

Post-it notes are essential for this task. Spice it up a little by getting some multicolored ones from the office supply store. Get some in the small size. Once, I gained access to my wife's purse while she was out of the room. I took her driver's license from her wallet. I then carefully attached a small post-it note beside her photo. I drew an arrow pointing to her face and wrote "Bill Loves ---->". She didn't reach for her license until days later. You can picture her quickly pulling her license out to cash a check or complete a transaction and seeing the hidden note. The feeling she got in the check out line of the grocery store from that one act, was more than any piece of jewelry or bouquet of flowers could bring.

Guess what, she refuses to remove the post-it from her license to this day.
Step 5

Random acts of Affection. Hug and Kiss your wife for no reason at all, except for the fact that it makes you both feel good. Women (and Men for that matter) need affection. Study after study has shown that affection and touch lead to longer and happier lives.

I am not talking about push the dinner plates on the floor and diving into a passionate make out session here. Although that certainly can have its time and place.

Strive to give your wife a hug at least 3 times a day. Make it a meaningful embrace. Rub her back. Run your fingers through her hair. Nuzzle her neck. Remember you are hugging Your Wife, not sweet Aunt Mabel.

Walk up behind her while she is doing some mundane task (dishes, dinner, paying bills). Rub her shoulders, scratch her back, let your finger tips glide across her arms. Small soft acts to show her your love and affection. Don't seek a response, don't treat this as foreplay, just do it because you care. She'll know.

We are guys and many times our brains are on that oft referred to "one-track". But resist that urge during these encounters. Understand that there is a bigger picture for you both. To use an automotive analogy, look at these soft simple acts as maintenance for those other times when you want to kick in the turbo and hit the autobahn.
Step 6

Unexpected compliments. Its just common decency to compliment someone immediately after they have done something kind, good, or pleasing. As my a fore mentioned refrain, any joker can accomplish this. Telling your wife thank you for making a nice dinner should be commonplace.

However, creatively inserting compliments when they are not expected is a way to remind your wife that you appreciate her on a much deeper level. The compliment can be as big or small as you chose. Remember that both big and small are important.

Lets start with a big one. While undertaking the advice in step 5, whisper to your wife how much you appreciate what she went through to deliver your children. Tell her how proud you are of her. This is even more meaningful months or years after the actual birth. Remind her that you know what she went through and appreciate it. If you have been keeping your note pad (Step 1), you should be able to easily recall any number of sacrifices your wife has made for you and the family. Let her know you are grateful.

Of course the small compliments are just as important. Make these unique. Any 6th grader can utter the word, "you sure are purdy today". Please, forgive my southern humor. But you (especially you) know the little things your wife does that make her special. Instead of saying "I like your hair", be descriptive. "The way your hair falls along your shoulders, makes me want to run my fingers through it and softly kiss your neck". Unleash your inner romance novelist. It may seem corny, but if you mean it, then its not, its real.

Rather than "I like it when we hold hands"...."The feel of your soft fingers intertwined with mine makes my whole body feel warmer".

Rather than "you have pretty eyes"...."Looking into your eyes reminds me of standing with you on our wedding day, looking at each other, our whole lives ahead of us".

As stated above, at first these may seem corny or fake to you. But if you stop and think about how you really feel, then I promise you there won't be anything fake about your words. Allow your brain to follow your heart. Do let your wife's eyes remind you of your wedding day and you both will feel more deeply about each other.

Comments

Upon-Request said

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on 8/19/2009 Very nice and very thoughtful. You've obviously had lots of practice perfecting your tips!

ataloss1971 said

on 4/28/2009 ...and what would you say to the husband that's been saying/doing this for 6 years and whose marriage is still on the brink of failure???