How to Fart Silently or Discreetly

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By thebaglady
User-Submitted Article

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Farting is a part of life, but sometimes we need to let out gas at the most inopportune moments. It is often embarrassing to let out a loud one at work or at a dinner party. This is how you can reduce the risk of loud farts.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Patience

Step 1

Relax your butt muscles and lift your butt off your chair a little bit. You can accomplish this by shifting your weight on one side of your butt.
Step 2

Slowly let your fart out a little at a time. The smaller the amount of air there is the less likely it would make a loud noise. This takes a conscious effort to control the fart.
Step 3

If you cannot let the air out slowly then you could try to hold the fart in a bit and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
Step 4

Another method is to make a lot of noise and cover the sound of your fart. For example, you could talk loudly at a party or make your chair squeak at work.

Tips & Warnings

Sometimes you just can't control it and have to let it out.
Silent farts are usually more smelly

Comments

ladypoot said

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on 7/27/2009 Shifting to the side is too obvious. It's better to slightly raise your butt off the chair and poot. Just enough for the air to escape and then sit on your poot to hold the smell. The smell will evaporate in your chair. Trust me this works. I work in a cubicle and I have excessive gas. I can hold a conversation with a co-worker, laugh, lift my butt and poot all at the same time and they never know that I pooted. LOL