How to Specify an Adults Only Wedding

At an adults-only wedding, guests won't have to watch their kids.

Creating the wedding guest list is a headache for many engaged couples, but passing on the news about who's invited and who's not can be downright awkward. No matter the discomfort, you must be clear with guests about whether their children are invited or not. If you're throwing a formal evening wedding, most guests will expect the event to be adults only. If you're throwing a casual afternoon wedding, guests may assume that children are invited.

Things You'll Need

• Invitations
• RSVP cards

Instructions

1. Decide if you're going to make any exceptions. Inviting adults only generally means you won't invite anyone under 18, but you may opt to make exceptions for teenage family members. According to The Knot, you may also make exceptions for children if they are part of the bridal party.

2. Tell your family and bridal party members that the event is going to be for adults only. Not only will they know not to bring their own children along, but guests who aren't sure whether their children are invited may feel more comfortable asking your bridal party what your policy is.

3. Address envelopes to adults only. Addressing the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs. Johnson" makes it clear that they're the only two people invited, while addressing it to "The Johnson Family" leads guests to believe that children are included. If you are inviting any children, like the flower girl and ring bearer, include the child's name on the envelope.

4. Include an RSVP card in each invitation that includes a spot to write the names of guests attending. Guests who didn't get the hint from the invitation's address may write in their children's names as well. This information will let you know that you need to discuss the matter with them personally.

5. Call any guests who included their children's names on the RSVP card. Explain that you'd love to have the children attend, but due to a limited budget you've decided to limit the reception to adults only.

Tips & Warnings

• Parents may be angry or offended that their little ones aren't invited, but don't back down and make exceptions just to appease someone. Other parents will be dismayed to see other children at the reception and you'll be dealing with hurt feelings rather than celebrating your wedding.

References

• The Knot: Can Flower Girl and Ring Bearer Be the Only Kids at Wedding Reception?
• The Knot: Q&A: Guest List: Telling Guests It's 18 and Over?
• Martha Srewart Weddings; Etiquette: Children at Your Wedding; Spring 2010