English professors are a breed all their own. They tend to dress in a similar fashion, and the serious, academic English professor can make for a great Halloween costume. Or it can simply help you fit in when you go to your next coffeehouse poetry slam. But be careful; if you look too convincing, people may start asking you to read and critique their latest manuscript.
Things You'll Need
- Button-down shirt
- Jeans or khakis
- Plain dress
- Flats or high heels
How to Dress Like a Male English Professor
Wear a button-down shirt of any color. It's alright if it's coffee-stained. In fact, that may even be preferable.
Wear a jacket, preferably corduroy, with patches on the elbows. This is very cliche, but it's cliche for a reason, English professors are probably the only people on the planet who regularly buy these kinds of jackets.
Wear either a pair of khaki pants or jeans. Don't worry if they're wrinkled; you were up all night grading freshman papers and didn't have time to iron.
Muss up your hair so that it's sticking out in all manner of crazy directions. Then take your hand and try to fix it with a few, quick, lazy attempts. It should look only slightly less messy.
Find an old scarf and wrap it haphazardly around your neck.
Wear a pair of shoes that fit somewhere in the spectrum between dressy and casual. No tennis shoes, but no expensive dress shoes either. Boots are a good compromise.
How to Dress Like a Female English Professor
Wear no or little makeup. The all-natural look is popular among professors, particularly English professors.
Wear long, straight hair. A wig can be used if necessary. For some reason this is the most popular hairstyle for female English professors.
Wear a plain-looking dress. Thrift stores are a good place to look.
Wear little or no jewelry, as English professors tend not to festoon too much. What jewelry you do wear should not be too flashy.
Wear flat shoes, or regular high heels that aren't too outrageous. Knee-high boots and tennis shoes should be avoided.