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How to Go Internet Spelunking

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By lamoxlamae
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Go Internet Spelunking
Go Internet Spelunking

Arguably the single biggest innovation of the late 20th century, the Internet is a wonderful place for learning, connecting with people, and seeing things that should not exist.

Internet Spelunking is the fine art of seeing if the internet has a bottom while enjoying much fun along the way. Come Spelunking with us!

Difficulty: Easy
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • A home computer connection
  • A web browser
  • Zero kids around
  • Lots of free time
  • A strong stomach
  1. Step 1

    Make your "Trophy" folder for "trophies"- things you find that are the most insane thing you've found yet. When you find things that are even more insane, save them in there, too.

  2. Step 2

    Find your tolerance level. Try going to a search engine and type in "goatse" or visit the Goatse link in our links section!

    If you are disgusted, you are on beginner, proceed to step 3.

    If you are shocked but laugh, you are on intermediate, go to step 4.

    If you are unphased you are on advanced, go to step 5.

    If you are aroused, you're a pervert. :)

  3. Step 3

    For beginner spelunkers, try searching for innocent-seeming things with the "family safe" or "clean search" filter off. Click any result that turns up something unexpected or strange and save any trophies you find in your trophy folder.

  4. Step 4

    For intermediate spelunkers, try finding communities that believe in things you find strange and perhaps shocking. Seek to understand these people or at least to find a reason to laugh behind your computer monitor. Lurk as much as you can, don't post unless you have questions.

  5. Step 5

    For Advanced Spelunkers, seek out other Spelunkers and "jaded" members of strange internet communities. Share trophies (they may call them "horrors"), stories, and laughs. Also, try the Beginner's search trick on torrent websites and follow tips to extreme things.

Tips & Warnings
  • View your trophy folder by date to see your progress!
  • Share your trophy folder with friends and fellow internet-spelunkers for laughs!
  • Don't delete old images. It's fun to see what you used to think was "extreme and insane"!
  • Avoid searching for or saving anything illegal such as child pornography or bestiality. The police have no sense of humor.
  • Never use the same screen name that you use in any internet community in any Jaded/spelunker community or you will get caught and that never ends well.
  • Be careful if you choose to look into a cult such as Scientology or the Kemetic Order of Aset Ka as they may try to suck you in and aren't afraid to use legal actions if you cause any trouble.
  • You may wish to avoid cults until you reach advanced level or avoid them entirely to remain safe.
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