How to Get Along with Your Teenage Child

The Joys and Fears of Parenting aTeenage Child!

Being a parent is hard work and is definitely full of learning experiences. Every stage of a childs' life changes our relationships with them. As a teen child goes through the exciting and often confusing adolescent years that bring on physical, social and intellectual changes, it is important that when parenting teenagers that we continue to be a pillar of encouragement, wisdom and support to our teenage child while also allowing them to grow into a person who will become a self-assured adult.

Here I will discuss some positive parenting tips when parenting teens that can help our teenage child cross over into the world of adulthood more smoothly while keeping our own sense of emotional well-being intact.

Instructions

1. ALLOW YOUR TEEN CHILD TO BE MORE INDEPENDENT
   When parenting teens, it is important to take interests in the activities and plans of your teen child, while allowing them opportunities for freedom and decision-making as well as some adult privileges. Allow your teenage child to run their own life while also providing them with your guidance and offers to help, as well as allowing them to pay the consequences (good or bad) of their choices. Too much interference and control from the parents will hold a teenage child back from the individual growth and development that comes from their attempt to gain independence. This independence prepares them for life on their own.

2. RESPECT THE PRIVACY OF YOUR TEENAGE CHILD
   When parenting teenagers, it is important to remain as physically and emotionally available to them as you can without invading their personal space. The need for privacy with your teenage child is also an important development for them. Their time alone provides them with time to reflect, relax, plan, dream, and allows them to learn how to be by themselves; to be comfortable in their own company; as well as to respect the privacy of others. But there will be times when your teen child will still need and want you in their life.

3. UNDERSTAND WHERE A TEEN CHILDS HARSH BEHAVIORS MAY STEM FROM
   A teenage child may tend to be verbally brutal to their parents and to others around them and may seem to complain and insult on a regular basis. As difficult as it is to constantly listen to this, a teen child more often than not is projecting feelings about themselves and their own frustrations and insecurities onto those around them. With this in mind, we can practice positive parenting in our roles and interactions with our teen child by letting go of feeling personally attacked by their behaviors, and to be able to respond less out of defensiveness and more out of love and understanding.

4. PROVIDE YOUR TEEN CHILD WITH RESPECT
   Everyone wants and needs respect and your teen child especially, will pay attention to those who give them that respect. Providing respect to your teen child sends a powerful message that communicates that you admire and honor your relationship with them. When you provide respect to your teenage child, it encourages them to respect you in return, as well as teaches them how to respect others.

5. RESPECT YOUR TEENAGE CHILDS INDIVIDUALITY
   Avoid critical comments directed to your teen child about their personal style, friends, chores and other daily habits, as doing so tends to create conflict and resistance in your relationship with your teenage child. Their personal choices have an impact on their sense of value and self-worth. In your role as a parent, it's important to respect and encourage your teenage child to be their self, yet when parenting teenagers, respectfully discuss limits where limits are due and be willing to negotiate terms with them. Applying this positive parenting method teaches your teenage child negotiation skills that are beneficial to their life and relationships.

Tips & Warnings

• There are books and counseling available that can help with parenting teens. Look for some of the books at your local library!

Resources

• Advice for Parents and Teens
• Parent and Teen Site