How to Lift Someone's Spirits

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By Sheila Wilkinson
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Lift Someone's Spirits

You want to say something to pick them up, but what? Words can be healing, helping and caring. They can also ring false or forced or insincere. Here's how to make sure your words make a positive difference.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Step 1

Listen. If someone is down and you want to help, really pay attention to their words. Often, they aren't looking for any kind of advice or answers at all. They need to know that you care about them and what they are dealing with.
Step 2

Comment to let them know that you hear them. Join the conversation with a question or a comment that begins with something like, "So what you're saying - or feeling - is that" and repeat what they've said in other words. Let them know that you understand.
Step 3

Point out the good in the situation without minimalizing their pain. If someone is stuggling with a scary medical diagnosis, don't push their concern away - it is real. Instead say "I'm thankful that you have good friends and such a close family to help you through this. So many people will be walking through this with you - including me." Thank them for trusting you with their concerns and tell them you're grateful that you could be there for them. Let them know that you will stand by them.
Step 4

Be sincere. If someone is down about themselves, don't give them false flattery. If they just blew a job interview because they were late and unprepared, don't talk about how stupid the company must be. Tell them that there will be another interview and they can get their resume spiffed up and buy a second alarm clock. Tell them that they have something to offer and that the right interview will come along and with a little effort, they will knock em dead.
Step 5

Encourage people honestly. To lift someone up, you have to tell them truthful things. In order to do that, you have to know some good things about them. All people have many gifts that run the gamut from friendliness to killer IQs to artistry to getting things done. There is no one without gifts so encourage people with gifts and abilities and character traits that they really do possess.
Step 6

Practice lifting people up. Call them by name, ask about their family or job or something they talked about to you recently. Letting someone know that you know them and care about them is a great lift. Smile when you see them. Knowing that they make people smile when they show up is a boost, too.
Step 7

Be an encourager by noticing the good in others and commenting honestly on it. Light up when you spot a friend - let them know they have improved your day. Always speak to people, tell them if you've been thinking of them or if you've prayed for them. People who feel that they are making a difference in your life will be greatly encouraged.